fantasy love

Love Addictions: Do You Have an Unhealthy Addiction to Love?

While the term “love addiction” may be controversial among mental health professionals, having an overwhelming or obsessive compulsion toward love or a loved one is not uncommon. Love addictions are formed as a defense against psychological pain. Love addicts have a fantasy of being rescued by their loved one and often believe that this one… Read more »

Learn More

A Guide to the Fantasy Bond

Many struggles we face in our current interpersonal relationships arise from a core defense formed in childhood known as the “fantasy bond.”  Maybe you’re wondering why you’re losing the “spark” between you and your partner or why you can’t seem to stop worrying about your kids. You may be surprised to learn that what’s really at… Read more »

Learn More

How to “Make” Someone Fall in Love with You

Whenever I write an article about love or relationships, I inevitably receive one or two spammy comments recommending a mystical cure for how to “win back your husband” or “make the woman of your dreams fall in love with you.” The comment usually recounts a detailed testimonial and describes a modern-day genie who, by way… Read more »

Learn More

Falling Out of Love

When love starts to fade, before we even face the potential loss of the person we’re with or the relationship we’re in, many of us mourn the loss of something inside us. Falling out of love is like losing a part of ourselves that was once illuminated. It’s one of the most painful processes to… Read more »

Learn More

True Love: What Love Is and What It Is Not

The topic of true love has been debated for centuries.  Cynics often swear it doesn’t exist, while hopeless romantics think everyone should set out to find their soulmates.  With science now showing that true love is not only possible, but can actually last a lifetime, we’ve decided to look at the psychological elements that allow love to bloom… Read more »

Learn More

Stay in Love by Staying Out of Fantasy

There may now be hard science behind the notion that true love can last a lifetime. A neurological study from Stony Brook University revealed that couples who experience “romantic love” long-term can keep their brains firing in similar ways to couples who have just fallen in love. The research team, led by Bianca P. Acevedo and Arthur Aron,… Read more »

Learn More

Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved?

Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate.  In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash… Read more »

Learn More

How to Bring "Vacation Sex" Home With You

Why is “vacation sex” hotter and more exciting than what most couples experience in their bedrooms at home? And more importantly, why can’t they have that kind of sex in their everyday lives? One of the answers often given is that people are more relaxed on vacation; they’ve left work and responsibilities behind. They have… Read more »

Learn More

Fantasy Bond

What is a fantasy bond? A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy. Forming a fantasy bond is an often unconscious act of self-parenting and self-protection, in which two people become pseudo-independent, replacing the real relating involved in being in love with the form of… Read more »

Learn More