Search Results for: robert firestone

Why Can’t You Move on From Your Relationship?

…oncept developed by my father, author of Challenging the Fantasy Bond, Dr. Robert Firestone. He describes it as an illusion of connection between a couple where the form of being united replaces the substance of treating each other with love and kindness. In a fantasy bond, a lot of healthy relating is sacrificed for an illusion of security, an idea that the couple is fused in some way that can make them lose a sense of their individual identity….

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The Destructive Ways We Self-Parent as Adults

…istress. A “fantasy bond” was termed by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, to describe a core defense mechanism that helped us maintain a sense of safety and security at times when we experienced overwhelming frustration, hurt, or even terror. For an infant, the fantasy of being merged with a caretaker can reduce feelings of hunger and frustration. This illusion of connection can serve as a compensation for inadequacies in their…

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4 Reasons to Take Ownership of Your Feelings

…rcy of our parents. In discussing this, my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, wrote, “Later as an adult, things happen that are sometimes beyond your control and understanding. However, the adult who is still playing the child victim role… just keeps noticing over and over that the situation is unreasonable, unfair or threatening but doesn’t make the appropriate adaptive responses.” 3. It stops us from digging deeper. Your biggest e…

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Protected: When Grief Goes Viral: Video and Resources

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5 Things to Do When Your Inner Critic Takes Over

…s the book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, co-authored by my father Dr. Robert Firestone, I’ve outlined what I believe to be an empowering approach to combat this destructive voice on a deeper psychological level. However, we can take on this inner critic on a daily basis by persistently peeling away its negative overlays from our real point of view. In doing so, we can become more resilient in our fight to act in ways that reflect both our rea…

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fear of intimacy

3 Ways to Tell You’re Afraid of Intimacy

…ainful emotions. As my father, psychologist and author of Fear of Intimacy Robert Firestone wrote, “Most people have a fear of intimacy and at the same time are terrified of being alone.” This can create a lot of confusion, as a person’s ambivalence can cause a real push and pull in their behavior. So, how can you identify if your own fear of intimacy is getting in the way of love? 1. Your Actions Don’t Match Your Intentions For some people, their…

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Deep Sadness Can Deepen Love

…d negative. Sadness is a normal emotion To be sad is to be human. In 1980, Robert Plutchik developed one of the most influential classification approaches for general emotional responses. Sadness was one of the eight primary emotions he identified (the others being anger, fear, disgust, surprise, anticipation, trust and joy). He proposed that these “basic” emotions are biologically primitive and have a high survival value. Sadness is not only a fu…

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ways to beat insecurity

Three Ways to Beat Your Insecurity

…py is a cognitive/affective/behavioral approach developed by my father Dr. Robert Firestone to help people challenge this critical inner voice. There are five important steps to Voice Therapy. Step 1 Vocalize or write down your self-critical thoughts in the second person. For instance, instead of writing “I’m so stupid, ugly, worthless, boring,” you would write, “You’re so stupid, ugly, worthless, boring.” This process helps to separate these vici…

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What Does It Mean to Be Feminine or Masculine?

…human beings, regardless of our gender. In his book, Beyond Death Anxiety, Robert Firestone writes that these are “the ability to love and to feel compassion for self and others, the capacity for abstract reasoning and creativity, the ability to experience deep emotion, the desire for social affiliation, the ability to set goals and develop strategies to accomplish them, an awareness of existential concerns, the potential to experience the sacredn…

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The Key to a Long and Happy Life

…py lives than social class, IQ, or even genes. The study’s lead researcher Robert Waldinger concluded that “it wasn’t their middle-age cholesterol levels that predicted how [the study’s subjects] were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.” These relationships extend beyond our significant other and immediate fa…

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