Search Results for: michelle deen/2010/06/2009/12/dr-lisa-firestone-“suicide-the-warning-signs”/2010/03/helper-tasks-how-you-can-help-someone-whos-suicidal/2010/03/helper-tasks-how-you-can-help-someone-whos-suicidal

Fantasy Bond, Intimacy problems, relationship advice

Why the Spark Fades in a Relationship

…rson to boredom and dissatisfaction? In order to identify the wedge that’s driving couples apart, it’s helpful to understand the concept of the “fantasy bond.” As the major principle of a comprehensive psychological theory developed by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, the “fantasy bond” describes a way of relating that serves as a substitute for a truly loving relationship As my father has written of the fantasy bond, “This ill…

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Fear of Intimacy

…And regrettably these limitations tend to impact how they parent their children. From this less than perfect experience, children grow up with a less than perfect image of themselves. As a result, people arrive at adulthood psychologically equipped to survive in the type of emotional environment that they have come from. But it is a whole different world out there. That is why, when someone falls in love with us, the experience seems so alien. We…

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What Goes On in the Mind of Your Therapist?

…not necessarily being seen for who he or she really is. This can leave children confused about who they really are and cause them to struggle in forging their own unique identity. Throughout childhood, a person develops psychological defenses to cope with their specific circumstances. These defenses may work to protect them as children, but they often go on to limit or hurt them as adults. Think about the little girl who stays quiet in her househo…

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Where the Rubber Meets the Road

…ed a psychology conference in New York City and stumbled across Dr. Robert Firestone’s book, The Fantasy Bond. In spite of the fact I had stacks of assigned reading, this was the book I couldn’t put down. It enlightened me in ways none of my professors could, answering theoretical questions roaming around in my freshly primed mind. Most importantly, it made sense, not just theoretically, but personally. And this really is the crux of the matter, t…

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Why Are We Hooked on Rejection?

…” become “I will never meet anyone like him. No one will ever love me?” To help us catch on to this cruel internal dialogue without blindly believing every word it utters, it’s helpful to think of our thoughts in the third person. Would we ever let someone talk to us the way we are shouting at ourselves? Moreover, would we ever tolerate someone speaking to a friend of ours the way our critical inner voice speaks to us? We have to catch on the mome…

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Why Are So Many Parents Limited in Loving Their Children?

…ven regain genuine loving feelings and regard for one another. Lastly, children whose parents have, for the most part, resolved their issues of trauma and loss from the past have a better chance. In Compassionate Child-Rearing, I described many parents who came to understand and feel for what had happened to them as children. As a result, they were able to develop more compassion for their past and for their present-day limitations. Regaining feel…

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Why Are People Afraid to Grow Up?

…re to developing a mature approach to life and move toward a more satisfying and freer existence. This subject will be addressed in my next blog. Learn about Dr. Robert Firestone’s book The Self under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation…

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You Don’t Want What You Say You Want

…ctions with others, — each individual in the couple could expand his or her capacity for both giving and accepting love. Learn more about Dr. Firestone’s latest book The Self Under Siege:…

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The Value of Being Personal with Your Children

…tudes or way of being. Indeed, any technique, attitude, or approach to childrearing that treats children as objects to be manipulated by certain parental styles of communications is detrimental to their development. Many adult patients have complained bitterly about being treated as an object by their families. Children need adults who relate to them directly; they need people who are open with them about their real thoughts and feelings. This typ…

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Compassionate Child Rearing

…etter understand the effects they have on the emotional state of their children. The lesson of the text is that children deserve the same rights, respect and consideration as any fully grown human being. To raise their children in a healthy environment, where they are seen and heard as independent individuals, parents must come to understand the ways in which they hurt their children and the events from their own past that helped motivate their be…

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