Search Results for: critical inner voice

A Fine Romance: Secrets to Making Love Last a Lifetime

…better listener,” begins Melva. “There were times Jesse experienced me as critical, and I would say, ‘I’m not critical.’ But I needed to pay attention to my impact on him.” Melva says her reaction was rooted in frustration at not feeling heard, and realized that she wasn’t even listening to her husband. “I wanted him to hurry up,” she says, “so I could have my turn.” So, how have they managed to flourish for 30 years of marriage? For starters, tw…

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Are You in an Unhealthy Relationship?

…ck to where I started by giving up some of the critical thoughts (critical inner voices) I’ve built up against my partner? Could I start relating more personally and recover my feelings of affection? If, at the end of the day, you decide you have grown distant from your partner for good reason, you may choose to give up the relationship. If you feel you were drawn to your partner for reasons that fit in with your past but hurt you in the present,…

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Three Ways We Make Communication Impossible

…eel critical toward our partner for their weakness in submitting to us and critical of ourselves for acting out in a manipulative manner. Parental or childish styles of communicating It’s important to watch out for ways that you might be communicating from a childish or parental stance. Whether or not we like it, we developed our communication skills in the families we grew up in. Even though we try to relate differently, it is easy to fall into o…

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VIDEO: Dr. Allan Schore on Attachment Trauma and Effects of Neglect and Abuse on Brain Development

…r areas of the right brains are more (in) efficient (sic) because in their critical periods, there’s not an optimal situation for their wiring. So I’ve looked very carefully at the effects of relational trauma, to use the term “relational trauma,” also called “attachment trauma.” These are not traumas with the physical environment. These are where the stressor comes from the haven of safety herself. What if the haven of safety, the primary caregiv…

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VIDEO: Dr. Kirk Schneider on How to Experience Life More Fully

…in nature or maybe some time in one’s room, meditating could certainly be critical to that. Travelling, if one has the chance, if one has the chance to do that, keeping a diary of one’s reflections about life could be part of it. Basically dropping some of the routines that have been bogging that person down in life. At the end of Awakening to Awe, I kind of collated critical themes, or I call them lenses, that helped people to cultivate that sen…

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Be Your Own Couples Therapist

…. Before the simple matter could be resolved, he was accusing her of being critical and controlling, and she was defending herself and declaring him to be over-reactive and infantile. In these moments of tension, we must take a break and reflect. Don’t feed your feelings of hurt. Instead, step aside and ask yourself what you’re really reacting to and why. Identify patterns – A man recently came into my office, up in arms that his girlfriend was be…

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Creating a Path from “I Hate My Life” to Resilience and Self-Realization

…hinking. She will talk about steps and therapeutic methods to conquer this inner critic. An overview of scientifically proven methods of building resilience to help people cope with stress and deal with life’s challenges. A discussion of how making sense of one’s story and learning the steps of differentiation can help people separate from their past and feel stronger in the present, creating the life they truly want. An introduction to a toolkit…

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Angels Beside Me

…, intelligent, bright and shining influence. I was to find venues where my voice, like any encouraging, determined, and deliberate voice, could be heard from the mountaintops. So I did just that. In the beginning there was just one presentation on the topics of suicide prevention and mental health awareness. Since, I have spoken to audiences at universities, to our nation’s service members, to clinicians and to the general public. God has granted…

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When Life Becomes a Death Sentence

…staccato laugh, recall his smile and remember the tone and cadence of his voice, but I cannot touch him, squeeze his shoulders or even give him a friendly jab on the arm. I cannot ask him or ever know the answer to what propelled him off a ladder into another realm—one that I am not part of and have no access to. Our lives are composed of stories. Some we tell ourselves, and other people add to the narrative. In the wake of my brother’s suicide,…

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fear of abandonment

Fear of Abandonment

…are unlovable or won’t be accepted for who we are. We all have a “critical inner voice,” a negative internal dialogue that chronically criticizes us or gives us bad advice. This ‘voice’ often perpetuates our fear of abandonment: “He’s gonna leave you,” it warns. “She’s probably cheating,” it cries. Because we all have “voices” and alarms that are set off when we feel triggered, it’s helpful to have tools and strategies to calm ourselves down when…

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