What is the Critical Inner Voice? The critical inner voice is a well-integrated pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others. The nagging “voices,” or thoughts, that make up this internalized dialogue are at the root of much of our self-destructive and maladaptive behavior. The critical inner voice is not an auditory hallucination; it is experienced as thoughts within your head. This stream of destructive thoughts forms an anti-sel…
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…us healthy living. BOYT: What motivated you to write Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice with your father, Dr. Robert W. Firestone, and Joyce Catlett? Dr. Lisa Firestone: After years of therapy practice, we could see how much our patientsgained from a deeper understanding of their critical inner voice, and we wanted to make it available to the general public. The goal is to help individuals gain an awareness of the critical inner voice that causes u…
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…g these times, when we are the most open and vulnerable, that the critical inner voice is especially active and aggressive. When it comes to attacking our sexuality, the critical inner voice knows no bounds. The attacks begin before the sexual encounter, continue during it and even persist afterward. The critical inner voice attacks both you and your partner. It focuses on every aspect of your sexual relationship: criticizing you and your partner’…
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…rmines and sabotages your efforts to have love in your life: your critical inner voice. It comes at you from all sides; it goes after you, it badmouths your partner, it slams your relationship, and it attacks love in general. We are mostly unaware of this internal enemy and the subversive operation that it runs just below our consciousness. But we get a glimpse of it when we have a thought like, “He won’t be interested in me. I’m not in his league…
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…ything to do with an internal critic we all possess. What is our “critical inner voice”? This “critical inner voice” exists in all of us, reminding us constantly that we aren’t good enough and don’t deserve what we want. In her book Yes, Please comedian Amy Poehler described this inner enemy as “a demon voice.” She wrote, “This very patient and determined demon shows up in your bedroom one day and refuses to leave. You are six or twelve or fifteen…
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Where your critical inner voice comes from As small children, we are helpless and entirely dependent on adults for nurturance and to have our needs met. It is impossible for even the most loving parent to anticipate and respond to all of the needs of an infant, therefore every child suffers from some degree of frustration, deprivation and pain. At these times, children defend against the intense emotions that they are experiencing as unbearable b…
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…uch it is the result of an internalized critic referred to as the critical inner voice. The critical inner voice represents an internal enemy and may be thought of as a threat to self-actualization and self-fulfillment. It tends to foster inwardness, distrust, self-criticism, self-denial and limitation, addictions, and a generalized retreat from one’s goal-directed activity. Internalized voices attacks affect every aspect of a person’s life: one’s…
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The critical inner voice is an internal dialogue, a harsh and judgmental way of talking to ourselves. It is evident in those little everyday thoughts that flit through our consciousness: “You idiot, why did you say that? Now everyone will think you are stupid.” “You moron, you never should have taken this route in rush hour.” The critical inner voice often takes the form of an on-going commentary in our mind that interprets events and interaction…
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…ted to our body, our senses, and to another person. Yet having a “critical inner voice” sounding off in our minds during sex is a little like having an extra person in the room critiquing everything from our desirableness to our performance. These critical inner voices take us out of the experience, remove us from our bodies and leave us disconnected from our partner, robbing us of the precious aspects of sexuality. It’s probably no surprise to he…
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…r the rest of the day. I’ve written a lot about how we develop a “critical inner voice” and steps we can take to try to understand where it comes from and how to stop it from sabotaging our lives. However, there is a lot of value in learning how to identify and challenge our inner critic the moment it shows up. When did it start chiming in? What words did it use? How did it suddenly alter our mood? Answering these questions can be tricky, because…
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