…g with me? When we feel rejected, we often start to listen to destructive “inner voices” that attack us and our partner. When we’re listening to these destructive thoughts, we’re more likely to feel humiliation than real sadness over our loss. Our inner critic fuels feelings of not being able to survive on our own, often saying that no one will ever love us. When these voices aren’t viciously attacking us, they are often raging at our partner, whi…
Learn More
…cy to defer to your partner? By identifying your own defenses and critical inner voices, you can separate the real you from those unhealthy adaptations you’ve formed from hurtful past experiences. Do you think astrology or numerology affects relationship compatibility? I don’t know very much about either of these and their impact on relationship compatibility. However, I think they can be used positively when they encourage people to take chances…
Learn More
…our partner. It is helpful to identify these types of thoughts as critical inner voices that do not reflect your actual point of view about you or your partner. It’s like you have an inner coach running both of you down, actively driving a wedge between you by promoting the idea that you are a victim and being treated badly. You lose sight of the fact that you are just two people, each with your own shortcomings, trying your best to get through th…
Learn More
…r, but she would not let reality (presence of hostile feelings towards overcritical mother) cast an evil light upon it (the ideal image of mother-daughter relationship). So she sits and listens to her mother’s critical remarks. Consequently, she clenches her fist and keeps repeating to herself Please, God, don’t let me scream. Now, the situation is that her own mother arouses overwhelming feelings of hostility and anger that she has to smother. In…
Learn More
…overstep boundaries which diminishes attraction. Be aware of your critical inner voice. We all have an inner enemy that criticizes ourselves and our partner and undermines our closest relationships Do something independently. Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. Don’t give up friendships and activities you enjoy on your own and don’t aask you partner to either Communicate what you feel. Don’t expect your pa…
Learn More
…ship. However, there’s often also a lot of negative self-talk or “critical inner voices” that discourage us from pursuing our sexuality. It’s important to filter out the negative messages and stay in touch with this vital part of ourselves and our partner. Ideally, we would strive to stay in touch with our own wanting feelings and with those of our partner. There would be a give and take, with real contact being made, that sparks intimate and lovi…
Learn More
…man who wanted a loving partner, but always ended up with someone who was critical and rejecting. He recognized that he developed anxious attachment patterns as a child. His mother was inconsistent: at times caring and nurturing, but mostly critical and punishing. This left him confused and desperate toward her. He also became aware that in his romantic relationships, he had an anxious preoccupied attachment style. He understood how he had subcon…
Learn More
…ymptoms of depression. She will introduce a concept known as the “critical inner voice,” an internal enemy we all possess that fuels symptoms of depression and often discourages those suffering from engaging in the very behaviors that could help them feel better. Learning how to challenge this inner enemy and take the actions that can strengthen one’s real sense of self provides powerful tools for those fighting to overcome depression. There are…
Learn More
…uly know your partner, rather than seeing him or her through a negative or critical lens. When we get into the habit of swallowing our feelings and turning against our partner rather than stating how we feel, we are skating on thin ice. Even when we start to feel close, we will often be quick to become critical the minute our partner does something that rubs us the wrong way. When we feel free to directly say the things that annoy or anger us, we…
Learn More
…at involves: 1. Breaking with internalized thought processes, that is, the critical, hostile attitudes toward self and others. 2. Altering the negative personality traits in oneself that represent an incorporation of the aversive traits of one’s parents. 3. Identifying and relinquishing patterns of defense formed as an adaptation to painful events in one’s childhood. 4. Developing one’s own values, ideals, and beliefs rather than automatically acc…
Learn More