Search Results for: couples experiencing relationship trouble

How You Can Help Someone At Risk for Suicide by Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

…n someone is suicidal, they are in a disassociated state in which they are experiencing extreme self-hatred. How can you lift a person out of this state? Below you will find steps showing what you can do to help a person who is in the midst of a suicidal crisis and put them in touch with the help they need. 1. ENGAGE: Engage the person at risk in a personal way; let the person know you are paying attention and make the person feel accepted. Mainta…

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Why Are We So Self Critical?

…. In the same manner, it is much more difficult to lose weight when we are experiencing negative thoughts or “critical inner voices” enticing us to indulge, then beating us up for indulging. This pattern leads to even more distress and a desire to mute that pain with food. It is only at the times when we are best able to answer back to our “critical inner voices” that we truly allow ourselves to go after what we want. However, much of the time we…

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Suicide Prevention for LGBT Teens

…nd get them help.” – Daniel Radcliffe, Actor If you or someone you know is experiencing self-destructive or suicidal thoughts, it is essential that you seek help by talking to someone. Call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386, or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and seek the care or counseling needed. It is important to talk to someone about what you are going through and to engage in coping strategies that can keep you safe. If a fri…

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Is Happiness Really Normal?

…ay momentarily numb people from their pain, but it also cuts them off from experiencing the full joys life has to offer. Feeling their feelings, however frightening it may seem, actually allows people a greater capacity for happiness. As Dr. Firestone writes: An acceptance of death and dying as a reality and an awareness of the typical defenses that people develop to counter the dread can be life-affirming rather than leading to cynicism or depres…

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Counseling at UCLA: Interview with Dr. Daniel Zamir

…and not crazy.” But that it’s really about difficulties with emotion, with relationships and that that’s a really common experience, that people in general, I think, have a lot of difficulty managing their emotions, being in relationships and being vulnerable and managing what comes up as well as managing kind of their voices and the things they tell themselves that lead them to lead less complete or full lives. I think that’s a universal experien…

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Resources from How to Make Love Last – A Webinar With Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

…partner? What are the factors that determine whether partners will end up experiencing love and fulfillment in their relationship or suffering pain and distress? This webinar with Dr. Lisa Firestone helps answer these questions. Participants will gain insight into how people form an imaginary connection or ‘fantasy bond” with their partner that interferes with real relating. The ideal qualities to look for in a partner and to cultivate in yoursel…

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How to be a good parent: It’s all about you!

…l be cut off from our children and misattuned to what they are feeling and experiencing. In the preface to Compassionate Childrearing, R.D. Laing described this: Those outstretched arms open up a well of loneliness [in the adult]. But in these feelings, mixed up in them at once physical smells new and stale of ghosts of awakened sensations in oneself, are evoked, by that dead me, that me that was me, I see in the baby. The baby is still appealing…

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Why We Don’t See Ourselves Clearly

…self-compassion involves “being open to and moved by one’s own suffering, experiencing feelings of caring and kindness toward oneself, taking an understanding, nonjudgmental attitude toward one’s inadequacies and failures, and recognizing that one’s experience is part of the common human experience.” Self-compassion allows us to meet our inner critic with empathy. It allows us to extend this empathy to others, who are also living largely at the w…

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The Inner Voices Behind Violent Behavior

…ctive thoughts “voices” because many of the people we interviewed reported experiencing them that way. As I developed a scale, The Firestone Assessment of Violent Thoughts (FAVT), to measure the “voices” that incite violence, I was able to identify the thinking that sets the stage for violent and aggressive behavior. This information is not only helpful for predicting violent intent, but also for providing an overall understanding that helps expla…

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What to Do When Your Child is Stressed

…. In a culture of multitasking, ADD and stress,it’s no wonder our kids are experiencing similar pressure and fears. Kids have a lot on their plate: hunger, toilet training, nightmares, first days of school, friendships, bullies, tests, growing up, separating from their parents and learning about death. Unlike for an adult, it can be much harder for children to express themselves or get through these issues on their own. So how can you be attuned t…

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