…t of loving involves various types of real behavior that will keep a close relationship alive and vital, such as offering emotional and physical acts of affection; expressing tenderness, compassion, and sensitivity to your partner’s needs; sharing activities and interests; maintaining honest exchanges of personal thoughts and feelings. We often make the mistake of regarding love as an instinct or an innate ability. We expect that loving should be…
Learn More
…ld indicate a child is struggling. If a teacher tells us our child has had trouble getting along with other kids in class, we shouldn’t just shrug it off as being out of character and hope for the best – just as we shouldn’t chuckle at how silly our child looks while throwing a temper tantrum. What may start off as small behavioral patterns can elaborate into later behaviors that are concerning. For instance, an exaggerated focus on food or video…
Learn More
…ealize how important boundaries are to managing stress. Signs you may have trouble setting the boundaries you need are: You constantly feel overwhelmed You frequently get sick You say yes to too many things – you are exhausted trying to deal with all you have to do People behave in physical, emotional or sexual ways toward you that make you uncomfortable or feel unsafe Others “cross the line” when it comes to touch or the way they enter your perso…
Learn More
…le relating with other people, when it comes to our offspring, we run into trouble. This limitation pains and frustrates us. We seek advice and try to apply the techniques that are recommended to improve us in our roles as parents. But the problem persists and we are left still wondering what is going on. But the answers are right in front of you. You are just missing the obvious questions. If you relate easily with everyone else, then how are rel…
Learn More
…ed. Make sure they know that they can ask you for help whenever they’re in trouble. Always be a good listener and help them identify other people they can turn to for help as well as ways they can stay connected to those people. 4. Help them connect – We should do what we can to get the person to the help they need. We can help them find a counseling center or a therapist in their area as well as tele-mental health options. In addition, many thera…
Learn More
…n and try to identify any Sensations, Images, Feelings, and Thoughts we’re experiencing. In those intense instances when we’re triggered, we can pause to ask ourselves one by one what sensations, images, feelings, and thoughts are arising. This straight-forward exercise can offer a surprising amount of insight into any underlying stressors. For example, there may be an image from our childhood, a phrase, a sensation, or a feeling that arises that…
Learn More
…designed a set of structured behaviors to help us navigate the world. The trouble is, as our worlds and lives change, and we become independent adults who are no longer victims of our circumstances, we remain stuck in our ways. At this point, our self-protective defenses start to hurt rather than help us. When we stay defended in our lives and rigid in our routines, we often lose a child’s sense of wonder about the world. However, we can reconnec…
Learn More
…seek help. October is Depression Awareness Month. If you or a loved one is experiencing symptoms of depression, there is no better time to start taking steps to get help and feel better. One technique I use with clients struggling with depression is Voice Therapy, an approach developed by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone. Voice Therapy introduces people to the concept of the “critical inner voice,” a destructive pattern of thoug…
Learn More
…ther than being attuned to the specific needs of his children. His son was experiencing what his dad thought was “support” as pressure, and his daughter was experiencing his “generosity” as entitlement. When we relate to our children in ways that are reacting rather than acting, we often miss the mark on what they actually need from us. Every person is unique, and our children are not mere replicas of ourselves. By looking at ourselves as autonomo…
Learn More
…embers? Yes, there are definite red flags, including the following: having trouble sleeping; isolation, withdrawal from friends, family or social activities; loss of interest in hobbies, work, school and in one’s personal appearance; giving away possessions; making out a will; experiencing a recent personal loss; taking unnecessary risks; and talking about suicide. Contrary to another popular myth, people who talk about suicide often do go on to k…
Learn More