…ch shows that a high percentage of people seeking treatment for addiction, troubled relationships, or conditions such as depression have a history of trauma. Yet many people do not understand or see their personal experience as traumatic, and do not bring it up in therapy. As trauma-informed therapists, we know that toxic stress and overwhelming experiences make distinct impressions on the mind, brain and body. Trauma alters the way our brains pro…
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…e always felt hurt. Or, if we do find ourselves in a healthy and rewarding relationship, we may reach a level of intimacy that exceeds our internal limits, and at that point, we recoil. Most of us enter a good relationship in a good place. Early on, we feel great, because we feel valued and seen. We find what we always said we wanted. Yet, this blissful process of caring so deeply for someone else is also an invitation to care more deeply about ou…
Learn More…oach to even the most viole… Dr. James Gilligan & Dr. Carol Gilligan – A Relationship Is A Creative Work Dr. James and Dr. Carol Gilligan on the nature of a relationship as a creative e… Dr. James Gilligan & Dr. Carol Gilligan – On How A Marriage Can Be Many Marriages Dr. James Gilligan and Dr. Carol Gilligan describe their marriage as they have e… Dr. James Gilligan & Dr. Carol Gilligan – Explain A Child’s Emotional Honesty Dr. James G…
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…oach to even the most viole… Dr. James Gilligan & Dr. Carol Gilligan – A Relationship Is A Creative Work Dr. James and Dr. Carol Gilligan on the nature of a relationship as a creative e… Dr. James Gilligan & Dr. Carol Gilligan – On How A Marriage Can Be Many Marriages Dr. James Gilligan and Dr. Carol Gilligan describe their marriage as they have e… Dr. James Gilligan & Dr. Carol Gilligan – Explain A Child’s Emotional Honesty Dr. James G…
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…onception that sharing life means fusing into a single entity can hurt any relationship. Couples are made up of two individuals. The more these individuals treat each other as equals, as oppose to complementary parts, the more whole they will feel in themselves. When people feel secure in themselves, the more attractive they will be to their partners, and the more they offer to the relationship. Watch Dr. Lisa Firestone talk to PsychAlive about th…
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…t of love and what it means to be loving. She discusses values in a loving relationship and offers tactile tips for couples on improving the quality of their relationships. Dr. Love also addresses the importance of equality in a relationship, sexuality, and what she has learned from her years as a couples’ therapist. Shifting her focus to parenting, Dr. Love offers her perspective on how to raise emotionally healthy children. “Parenting is simply…
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…hat they once enjoyed that they have given up since becoming involved in a relationship? As a relationship becomes more serious, it is advisable to ask the following questions: Has this couple come to rely on each other to make up for any inadequacies in the other one; are they using each other to complete themselves? Is each one maintaining their independence and individuality or is either succumbing to just going along with activities that the o…
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…ognized as going against loving feelings. By approaching ourselves and our relationships with this proactive, pro-action perspective, we can change the course of our relationships and develop into more loving individuals. How to Be More Loving: 1) Look at What You Do, Not What You Say Take a step back and ask yourself: How do I actually treat my partner? Do my actions match my words? One helpful way to examine this question is to make a list of th…
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…ur point of view but are part of a hostile attack to destroy your intimate relationship. It is likely that your voice attacks against your partner will fit into your partner’s own voice attacks against him/herself. Therefore, be mindful of your partner’s feelings as you reveal your attacks. Your goal is for both of you to be on the same side, aligned against this internal enemy, so that you can challenge it and enjoy a close sexual relationship. T…
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…nism there is, and to feel suddenly cut off from a partner, disconnected, is terrifying…. This longing for emotional connection with those nearest and dearest to us is the emotional priority, overshadowing even the drive for food or sex. Now that you know the fundamental ingredients for a happy relationship here’s something to try: Start applying the A.R.E. factor to all your relationships and see if it doesn’t make a difference. I would love to h…
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