Our first relationships profoundly shape how we connect with others. A baby’s earliest lessons teach whether to depend on an important person for comfort and acceptance, or whether to expect distress, disconnection or shame. An infant begins life learning if important people can be good sources of comfort and safety. A baby may learn that… Read more »
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In my last blog, I wrote about some of the psychological reasons we get triggered by our partner in a relationship. I explored why tensions can rise so quickly, and things can feel heated before either person has a chance to understand what’s going on. These conflicts can be fraught enough for some people to… Read more »
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Ever wish you could laugh and talk more easily with others? When you try to share your feelings and get closer to someone, what happens? Do you freeze and say nothing? Does too much spill out? Do you have a short, awkward conversation? Do you end up feeling bad about yourself? People learn early in childhood… Read more »
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One of the most profound influences on the way we behave in relationships is our early attachment patterns. As children, the attachment patterns we formed were based on adaptations we made in order to feel secure in our environment. The ways we were cared for and related to by our parents or primary caretakers led… Read more »
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The other night at dinner, a man asked, “What do you suggest my girlfriend and I do to maintain good communication in our relationship?” What came to mind was all of the bad communication that I have observed between couples trying to have conversations with each other. And what struck me about all of these… Read more »
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August is National Romance Awareness Month, and I am well aware that there are a gazillion blogs and unlimited advice out there about how to maintain romance in a relationship. Just google “keep romance alive” if you don’t believe me. And it’s really helpful advice: talk to each other, make time to be together, stay… Read more »
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Breaking patterns to achieve better relationships Two questions I’ve heard frequently in my 30-plus years working with clients are “Why do my attempts at relationships keep ending in failure?” and “Are my standards too high? No one I want seems to want me.” The truth is that we all have different internal struggles that get… Read more »
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Watch Now: Daring to Love Move Beyond Fear of Intimacy, Embrace Vulnerability, and Create Lasting Connection
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To maintain a successful relationship it is necessary that both people maintain their own individuality and respect the individuality of their partner. Each is concerned with their own and their partner’s continued development as a person. In my book, Daring to Love, I write about achieving this by remaining adult, open, undefended, and honest in… Read more »
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Being vulnerable is a popular topic of conversation these days. In fact, at this time, Brene Brown’s TED talk “The Power of Vulnerability” has had more than 30 million views. In spite of all the talk and of how much we may want to be vulnerable, especially in our romantic relationships, it’s not easy to… Read more »
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