Defenses

There are many traits we developed as children that served a purpose in our childhood but actually hinder us in adulthood. As kids, we may have armed ourselves against hurtful influences by keeping to ourselves, rebelling against restraints, or engaging in self-soothing behaviors. These characteristics may have served as survival mechanisms or “defenses” in our youth. Yet, these same defenses that protected us as kids can hurt in adulthood. The adaptations we made to once painful events may lead to some of our most destructive habits as adults. Our defenses can keep us from taking chances, getting close to someone, or achieving success. Learn more about what your defenses might be, where they came from, how they influence you, and how you can challenge them in your life today.

“Name It to Tame It” – The Deep Emotions Underlying Your Triggers

What triggers you and why? We all have those moments when all of a sudden... >>

Accepting “Good Enough” Friends and Partners

It’s pretty much to be expected that the people who matter most to us also... >>

The Destructive Ways We Self-Parent as Adults

The relationship we have with our parents or primary caretakers is almost never black or... >>

Are You Sabotaging Yourself?

Many people struggle with reconciling what they think they want with what they go about... >>

Staying in Love While Staying Yourself

A lot of couples talk to me about their struggles to stay close to each... >>

Accepting Our Anger During the Pandemic

This January marks the 10th month that my husband and I have been quarantined in... >>

Denial: The Danger in Rejecting Reality

“Denial was a weapon; it killed truth, numbed the mind, and I was a junkie.”... >>

3 Ways to Tell You’re Afraid of Intimacy

While most of us say we want love, pretty much all of us have some... >>

Defense Mechanisms

“When children are faced with pain and anxiety in their developmental years, they develop defense... >>

The Origin of Polarization, Prejudice, and Warfare

One of the most significant contributions of my theoretical approach, Separation Theory, is that it offers an... >>

This site uses cookies to offer you a better browsing experience. By browsing this website, you agree to our use of cookies.