There’s often a lot of mystery surrounding a budding relationship. When we first start dating someone we like, that mystery is usually centered on them. Is this person right for me? What are they thinking? How do they feel about me? What are they looking for? As things get closer, however, we often find that… Read more »
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Narcissistic Traits There are a considerable number of problems that come with dating a narcissist. Nevertheless, many people are drawn to narcissistic relationships. Studies have found narcissists to be more desirable and attractive to people as potential dates. Yet, entering a relationship with a narcissist can ultimately leave a person feeling like they’ve lost themselves… Read more »
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If these past 18 months have forced us to evaluate anything, it’s the importance of connection. Be it through new technologies, outdoor activities, or the little pods we’ve packed into to stay safe, we’ve all had to find creative ways to make connection work in a world of social distancing. Nurturing our relationships is one… Read more »
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A lot of couples talk to me about their struggles to stay close to each other in a way that feels vital and intimate. At the same time, they may also complain about a feeling of sacrifice or a way they’re having to compromise and give up certain aspects of themselves to be in the… Read more »
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“Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart.” – Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection The gift giving that takes place during the holiday season has brought to mind the much-overlooked challenge of accepting. We tend to focus our attention on the giving part of the gift exchange: what… Read more »
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One of the most fascinating things about working in psychology is the chance to explore the invisible forces that shape our lives. Many of us move through each day operating as a bit of a mystery to ourselves. We don’t fully understand our thoughts, feelings, or even our behavior. We’re often left to wonder why… Read more »
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While most of us say we want love, pretty much all of us have some degree of fear around intimacy. The type and extent of this fear can vary based on our personal history: the attachment patterns we developed and the psychological defenses we formed to protect ourselves from early hurts. These patterns and defenses… Read more »
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Childhood is a critical time for discovering and enhancing the secure attachment ideally built in the early years of a parental relationship with a child. Our earliest relationships do a great deal to establish our sense of self and wellbeing. Knowing, “I matter, my needs matter, and my loved ones will help keep me safe”… Read more »
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Our first relationships profoundly shape how we connect with others. A baby’s earliest lessons teach whether to depend on an important person for comfort and acceptance, or whether to expect distress, disconnection or shame. An infant begins life learning if important people can be good sources of comfort and safety. A baby may learn that… Read more »
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A while back when recording a podcast, my team at PsychAlive and I asked a random group of people if they considered themselves the pursuer or the distancer in their relationship? In other words, did they see themselves as the one who’s usually wanting more closeness and intimacy or the one who typically needs more… Read more »
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