trauma

How Do Adverse Childhood Events Impact Us?

…And can positive childhood events provide protection? In the 1980s, Dr. Vincent Felitti, a physician from Kaiser Permanente was running an obesity clinic through the Department of Preventive Medicine. After several years, much to Felitti’s puzzlement, more than half of the people participating had dropped out despite successfully losing weight. Determined to find out why,… Read more »

Learn More

How to Heal Trauma or Just Get Unstuck with EMDR

Do you notice yourself struggling with a sense of being stuck instead of moving toward a goal you have for your life?  Despite working hard for a better job, a secure relationship, or peace of mind, for example, do you seem to go nowhere? Sometimes people feel unable to get past the same old stumbling… Read more »

Learn More

How to Stop Yourself from “Losing It” With Your Partner

We all have those moments of frustration with our partner that lead us to act in ways we later regret. We may acknowledge after the fact that there was a healthier way to react or vow to handle things better in the future, but the moment tensions rise, and we feel triggered in a particular… Read more »

Learn More

These Invisible Memories Shape Our Lives

We’ve all heard the famous quote, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” While some version of this expression is often used when discussing broad cultural considerations like war, policy, and politics, it’s also one that very much applies to our own personal history. The less we’re able to bring our… Read more »

Learn More

Deep Sadness Can Deepen Love

Joy’s smile is much closer to tears than it is to laughter. —Victor Hugo, Hernani We often retreat from love when it unconsciously arouses painful feelings of sadness. This is not the kind of sadness that comes when our feelings are hurt or our heart is broken. That sadness makes sense to us. This type… Read more »

Learn More

Having Healthy Sex and Relationships After Sexual Abuse

Sexual trauma, abuse and violence impact a surprisingly large number of people — maybe even you or someone you know. One in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under age 18 will experience sexual abuse or assault by an adult, reports the anti sexual-violence organization, RAINN. Accurate statistics about child sexual abuse are difficult… Read more »

Learn More

Defense Mechanisms

“When children are faced with pain and anxiety in their developmental years, they develop defense mechanisms to cut off that pain. But the tragedy is that in cutting off the pain, you also cut deeply into their lives, so that defenses that were basically survival-oriented psychologically also serve as terrible limitations to the self.” ~… Read more »

Learn More

Addiction Recovery: Why My Approach Is Trauma-Informed

It’s so hard to watch a loved one struggle with addiction. Whether it’s to using drugs, alcohol, food, pornography gaming, or something else, friends and family often feel helpless and hurt. We grieve losing connection with the person we care about. Why does addiction happen? What can friends or family do? I see addictive behavior… Read more »

Learn More

How To Love And Enjoy Your Own Body Again, Especially After Sexual Trauma

No matter who you are, feeling confident and attractive in today’s world can be a huge challenge. Images, voices and messages from mainstream media hold us up to impossible standards of looks and beauty.  Sexual confidence can disappear if we get unrealistic ideas in our heads about what it takes to be deemed attractive. For… Read more »

Learn More

9 Signs You Need Better Self-Care and May Be a Trauma Survivor

You know quite well how to take care of yourself, right? Ways to take care of your body are obvious. Getting enough sleep, brushing your teeth, and eating well are classic examples of good self-care. You need emotional self-care too. Can you  notice your emotions and thoughts with gentle awareness? Can you support a loved… Read more »

Learn More