relationship issues

Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved?

Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate.  In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash… Read more »

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Why Am I Still Single? 8 Reasons People Often Stay Single

Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. They may have just gotten out of a meaningful relationship or have dated relentlessly and just haven’t found… Read more »

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How You Know When To Let a Friend Go

It was the night of my 23rd birthday when the friendship I had come to call my “best” quickly dissipated.  The night had spiraled out of control and I decided by the end of it that despite 10 years of friendship, we both needed to find happiness elsewhere.  Losing such a longtime friend was one… Read more »

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Toxic Relationships

Most people question, at one point or another, am I in a healthy relationship? Is my partner right for me? Is our fighting normal? Are we really happy together? The answer is unique to the relationship, but one thing is almost always universally true: every couple goes through tough times. Even the best of matches… Read more »

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Are You in an Unhealthy Relationship?

Every couple goes through rough patches. Yet, when these patches stretch out into long-term struggles, how can we tell if the relationship is worth salvaging? Is it our own shortcomings and defenses that have caused us to fall out of love, or are we actually in an unhealthy relationship? Here are some signs to look… Read more »

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The Fantasy Bond: A substitute for a truly loving relationship

Defenses formed in childhood hurt adult relationships. Most people have fears of intimacy and are self-protective and at the same time are terrified of being alone. Their solution to their emotional dilemma is to form a fantasy bond. This illusion of connection and closeness allows them to maintain an imagination of love and loving while… Read more »

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Why You Should Be the One Who Loves More

There is always a lot going on between two people in a relationship. But very often, much of what goes wrong in a relationship has to do with what’s going on in our own minds. Most of us have a constant dialogue running in our heads, analyzing our relationship and informing us on how to… Read more »

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How to Fix a Relationship

“In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love When it comes to our relationships, the expectation of a perfect union or… Read more »

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Are You Tricking Yourself Out of Love?

I was once doing a radio show about our (my father, Dr. Robert Firestone, and my) work on the “critical inner voice,” a self-destructive thought process we all possess. The host started the show by talking about all the media attention on terrorism and the fear we, as a nation, were feeling following the attacks… Read more »

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Why the Spark Fades in a Relationship

Countless couples complain of losing the “spark” in their relationship. Some chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or sheer familiarity. The wave of “deadness” that can submerge a relationship after the first thrilling months or years have caused many couples to lose hope, and even look elsewhere for the excitement of… Read more »

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