“Falling in love is natural… sustaining love is unnatural. Sustaining love requires psychology, art and discipline.” ~Warren Farrell As a therapist who works with couples, I find this blog title to be the most compelling question faced by those in long-term love relationships. Why do most relationships lose that sense of promise and excitement and… Read more »
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How your negative self-image puts you at odds with your lover. When we first fall in love, we have a positive response to feeling understood and valued by someone who matters to us. But eventually we can find ourselves faced with two opposing views of who we are: the familiar, albeit negative, view of ourselves… Read more »
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Relationships are very much about give and take. At their best, they are a back-and-forth flow of love and affection. Things go smoothly when we’re able to attune to another person’s wants and needs, and they’re able to attune to ours. Yet, as most of us know, this sweet and simple-sounding interaction is often fraught… Read more »
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A while back when recording a podcast, my team at PsychAlive and I asked a random group of people if they considered themselves the pursuer or the distancer in their relationship? In other words, did they see themselves as the one who’s usually wanting more closeness and intimacy or the one who typically needs more… Read more »
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In my last blog, I wrote about some of the psychological reasons we get triggered by our partner in a relationship. I explored why tensions can rise so quickly, and things can feel heated before either person has a chance to understand what’s going on. These conflicts can be fraught enough for some people to… Read more »
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It’s so easy to overlook the fact that love is more than a feeling, it is an action. Love isn’t just a noun; it’s a verb! The act of loving is more gratifying for both the lover and the beloved than the state of being in love. That state is passive. It easily dissolves into… Read more »
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As I observe my single friends and family members navigating the dating world and looking for love, I keep hearing the same question: Why do I always end up in the same kind of relationship? “I started out feeling optimistic about this relationship, but then things fell apart like they always do, and the relationship… Read more »
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Ever wish you could laugh and talk more easily with others? When you try to share your feelings and get closer to someone, what happens? Do you freeze and say nothing? Does too much spill out? Do you have a short, awkward conversation? Do you end up feeling bad about yourself? People learn early in childhood… Read more »
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“I love you, so why do we fight so much?” This quandary is one that most couples face, leading them to question everything from their reality to their relationship to the rationality of love itself. After all, isn’t a certain amount of arguing normal? One recent survey found that couples argue an average of about… Read more »
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It’s perfectly normal to have times when you feel more or less in love with your partner. Yet, it’s painful to have lulls in a relationship that leave you feeling hopeless or questioning its future. At these times, even if you have lists of issues you know are causing problems with your partner, it can… Read more »
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