relationship advice

Staying True to Your Core Values in a Relationship

  “Feel the Feelings, but Do the Right Thing” Anxiety of changing when you’re moving toward new behavior is normal, expected, that’s why one of the lines I hear myself saying a lot in therapy is “Feel the feeling; do the right thing.  Feel the feeling, but do the right thing” because feelings are rooted… Read more »

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How To Be Loving in the Time of Twitter

It was 10 years ago in Italy when I first noticed the phenomenon.  I was on vacation with my family, seated at one of the most charming restaurants in the romantic seaside town of Portofino. My table happened to be next to a young Italian couple. Silhouetted against a gorgeous sunset, sipping wine, and sharing a… Read more »

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Dr. Pat Love Defines Four Basic Keys to Loving

Dr. Pat Love describes four basic actions to take that constitute a concrete offering of love and can, therefore, dramatically improve a couple relationship: There are really four things, let me just tell you, four things that every baby needs, every child needs, every adult needs.  It’s just basic to homo sapiens, to the human… Read more »

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Selling Out: Compromising Integrity in Intimate Relationships

All partners in successful intimate relationships know how to compromise when negotiating each others needs. They fully expect to give up some things and strive for fairness in those decisions. When couples cooperate openly, most desires are met, negotiated, or willingly given up for the sake of the relationship’s success. But sometimes one partner wants something… Read more »

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A Definition Of Loving with Dr. Pat Love

In an exclusive interview with PsychAlive, Dr. Pat Love explains and defines the unique paradigm that is Love. It’s interesting that you ask what my definition of love is, because before research I would have said, “Love is a response to getting your needs met.”  Because if you look in the Western literature, it basically… Read more »

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True Love or a Fantasy Bond?

There is a misconception in our culture concerning the reason why intimate relationships deteriorate and end. The typical relationship cycle is depicted as follows: Two people meet. They fall in love. They enjoy a certain portion of exhilarating time together. Then, reality sets in. The spark fades. Routine takes over. Fights begin. And love ends…. Read more »

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Five Ways to Bring Your Vacation Romance Home

Summer vacations are too often talked about as fleeting episodes of bliss, short-term fairy tales set against tropical beaches and mystic sunsets. Yet the idea that our vacation lifestyle is the product of fantasy and that, in the end, we must return to our “real lives” can actually be entirely backward. In fact, it is… Read more »

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Infidelity in the 21st Century

On May 9th, Former California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, announced that they would be filing for divorce. While exact reasons were unknown at the time, only days later on May 16th, The Los Angeles Times revealed that Schwarzenegger had fathered a child with a household employee more than a decade earlier…. Read more »

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Remember the Kids: Easing the Adjustment of Divorce for Children

In 1967, in order to study the relationship between stress and physical health, researchers Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe examined medical records of more than 5,000 patients. In order to determine whether stressful life events could cause illness, they developed a stress scale or “social readjustment scale” which assigned numerical scores of 1-100 to stressful… Read more »

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Seven Real Vows to Make Your Marriage Last

June is the most popular month for weddings. The questions overwhelming many soon-to-be newlyweds tend to involve dresses, cakes, guests and venues. When you think about it, although the price tag and party planning committee tend to be larger, the concerns of the engaged couple are not so different from the concerns we held as… Read more »

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