love

How to Love Your Partner the Way They Want to Be Loved

As much as being in love can feel like a natural state we either experience or don’t, we have a lot more say in it than we may think. Research has shown that taking more loving actions can make couples feel more in love. In this way, there’s a great deal of truth to the… Read more »

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Want a Better Relationship? Work on Collaborative Communication

Many people have only heard the term “collaborative communication” used in the context of company culture and teamwork. It’s basically defined as a method of exchanging information that helps people work toward a common goal. Yet, it’s not just businesses that reap the rewards of this type of relating. Studies have shown that couples who… Read more »

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Advice From a Mother of the Bride

My daughter was married last month, which, in sitting down to write this blog, made me think: what advice could I offer her (and her partner) about committing to a longterm relationship and being married? What have I learned from the 40-plus years that I’ve been married? What have I learned from studying psychology and… Read more »

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Genuine Relating in an Imperfect World

Real-World Romance for Real-Life Partners Last month, I finished revising and updating The Fantasy Bond with my husband, Robert Firestone. While working on this book, now called Challenging the Fantasy Bond, I became aware of what a delicate balance it is to keep a relationship real. In a romantic relationship, people have a tendency to… Read more »

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Why We Should Stop Treating Love Like a “Pie”

I recently read a famous short story by Amy Bloom about an adult woman at her mother’s funeral. The woman is reflecting upon her mother’s life, specifically her relationship with two men who loved her at the same time. The woman remembers confronting her mother about her feelings for the man who was not her… Read more »

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How Focusing on the Bigger Picture Can Help Your Relationship

Every relationship has its ups and downs. For many couples, these dips can occur on a daily basis. From morning to night, our interactions with our partner can range from loving and romantic to irritable and cynical. While it’s natural for our feelings to shift in response to different circumstances, it can be frustrating to… Read more »

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Has Your Relationship Become Off Balance?

Understanding the fantasy bond to get your relationship back on track. Many of us are in the process of recovering from the last year of living under the threat of Covid-19; we are vaccinated, pulling off our masks, and moving in to hug the people we have missed. We are venturing out into the world,… Read more »

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Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness

Why you shouldn’t over-rely on your partner to make you happy. When we’re single, we’re constantly making decisions in pursuit of happiness: where to go, who to date, what friends to seek out, what activities to try. We don’t always make the right decisions, but we, at least, tend to take responsibility for them. When… Read more »

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Being Vulnerable to Love

3 suggestions to help you be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is a popular topic of conversation these days. In fact, at this time, Brene Brown’s TED talk “The Power of Vulnerability” has had more than 53 million views. In spite of all the talk and of how much we may want to be vulnerable, especially in… Read more »

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Staying in Love While Staying Yourself

A lot of couples talk to me about their struggles to stay close to each other in a way that feels vital and intimate. At the same time, they may also complain about a feeling of sacrifice or a way they’re having to compromise and give up certain aspects of themselves to be in the… Read more »

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