intimacy problems

How to Stop Feeling Triggered by Your Partner

In my last blog, I wrote about some of the psychological reasons we get triggered by our partner in a relationship. I explored why tensions can rise so quickly, and things can feel heated before either person has a chance to understand what’s going on. These conflicts can be fraught enough for some people to… Read more »

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How to Build Healthy Relationships

Ever wish you could laugh and talk more easily with others? When you try to share your feelings and get closer to someone, what happens? Do you freeze and say nothing? Does too much spill out? Do you have a short, awkward conversation? Do you end up feeling bad about yourself? People learn early in childhood… Read more »

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Why You Pick Fights with Your Partner… and How to Stop

 “I love you, so why do we fight so much?” This quandary is one that most couples face, leading them to question everything from their reality to their relationship to the rationality of love itself. After all, isn’t a certain amount of arguing normal? One recent survey found that couples argue an average of about… Read more »

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The Fantasy Bond in Couple Relationships

By the time they reach adulthood, most people have solidified their defenses and exist in a psychological equilibrium that they do not wish to disturb. Although they may be relatively congenial with more casual acquaintances, over time there is typically a noticeable deterioration in the quality of relating within their most intimate relationships. As a… Read more »

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How to Fall Back in Love with Your Partner

It’s perfectly normal to have times when you feel more or less in love with your partner. Yet, it’s painful to have lulls in a relationship that leave you feeling hopeless or questioning its future. At these times, even if you have lists of issues you know are causing problems with your partner, it can… Read more »

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Preventing Interpersonal Violence in Relationships

As a therapist, I want to help survivors of dating violence, domestic violence, and abusive relationships recover their sense of safety and self-fulfillment in life. And I want to do more. I want more people to know how grave the damage is to survivors of abuse and sexual assault. I want to see more action… Read more »

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The Secret to Staying Close to Your Partner

In the intimate quarters of a romantic relationship, the reactivity between couples can be electric, the slightest jolt from one person sending the other into sparks. As emotional beings armed with complicated attachment histories, we key off each other in complex ways. The chronic lateness of our partner can cause us to feel wounded and vengeful…. Read more »

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How to Stop Fighting and Feel Close Again

Why is it that we fight the most with those we love the most? Is it just because we’re two people with two completely separate minds spending so much time together that we’re bound to not see eye to eye once in a while? Or, is it something more profound, something deeper? Unfortunately, it’s usually… Read more »

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Are You Creating Your Own Nightmare in Your Relationship?

A few years ago, I was talking to my friend and colleague Dr. Daniel Siegel, a leader in the field of interpersonal neurobiology. We were discussing how and why people find themselves stuck in certain relationship patterns. Dr. Siegel explained that our brains are actually wired to recreate conditions from our past. Our early experiences… Read more »

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Finding Love: Empowering Tools to Help You Find the Relationship You Want

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ― Rumi When it comes to the pursuit of finding love, many of us feel powerless – like it’s completely outside of our control. That’s not to say that there’s any… Read more »

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