improve your relationship

Has Your Relationship Become Off Balance?

Understanding the fantasy bond to get your relationship back on track. Many of us are in the process of recovering from the last year of living under the threat of Covid-19; we are vaccinated, pulling off our masks, and moving in to hug the people we have missed. We are venturing out into the world,… Read more »

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A Life Separate

A Personal Perspective. I have a life separate from anyone I know. I don’t mean I have a secret life; those closest to me know me pretty much in detail. Sometimes, I’m told, in too much detail. I mean that my life, my life, exists apart and separate. As it is with each of us…. Read more »

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How to Go “All In” in a Relationship (Without Losing Yourself)

As a therapist, I spend a good amount of time exploring the push and pull that occurs in relationships. For example, between couples, a lot of friction occurs when one person is wanting more closeness, while the other is seeking more space. With individuals, I observe many people who say they want love and intimacy,… Read more »

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What Is Your Role in Your Relationship?

Conflict between a couple can often feel convoluted and layered in ways that are hard to make sense of. But, there is one dynamic that may be a bit easier to wrap our heads around. Very often, couples get into trouble when one person takes the role of a parent, and the other, the role of… Read more »

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7 Behaviors That Ruin a Relationship

How can you avoid the patterns that destroy a loving relationship? The question of why love fades or why people grow apart in their relationships is one of life’s great mysteries. What prevents us from maintaining the passion, attraction, admiration and closeness we once felt for our partner?  What I have found in my own… Read more »

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Can We Change in Our Relationships?

It’s possible to break free of bad habits when it comes to relationships. “Can a person really change?” This is a question I hear a lot when people are talking about struggles in their relationships. They wonder if their partner will ever start being more romantic or stop getting in such bad moods. It’s easy… Read more »

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How to Say What You Want in Your Relationship

In my 30 years working with couples, I’ve noticed that most people have an easy time describing what they don’t want in their relationship. If prompted, they’re able to rapidly fire off the many issues that they feel are creating distance between them and their partner. Yet, if I ask the same people what they… Read more »

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5 Simple Steps to End Any Fight

Fighting with a partner is one of those unpleasant parts of a relationship that we wish wouldn’t happen. But what if it was also life-threatening? A Brigham Young University study, tracing couples over two decades, found that more arguments correlated with poorer health and concluded that couples who don’t argue live longer. While a happy relationship… Read more »

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Five Ways to Avoid an Infidelity

Flirtation or Infidelity? What’s Okay and What’s Not A question that often arises in my practice is what constitutes infidelity? When is a flirtation innocent and when does it go too far? How can you draw lines when it comes to your and your partner’s behavior, especially when these lines have become increasingly blurred by a digital age,… Read more »

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5 Things to Try Before You Give Up on Your Relationship

It’s a pretty common consensus that love takes work. Yet, 80 percent of Americans under 30 believe in a soulmate, the idea that there is one perfect person out there just waiting to be found. Even the expression “falling in love” makes it sound like love is out of our hands — that it just happens… Read more »

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