We all have those moments of frustration with our partner that lead us to act in ways we later regret. We may acknowledge after the fact that there was a healthier way to react or vow to handle things better in the future, but the moment tensions rise, and we feel triggered in a particular… Read more »
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“Falling in love is natural… sustaining love is unnatural. Sustaining love requires psychology, art and discipline.” ~Warren Farrell As a therapist who works with couples, I find this blog title to be the most compelling question faced by those in long-term love relationships. Why do most relationships lose that sense of promise and excitement and… Read more »
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“I love you, so why do we fight so much?” This quandary is one that most couples face, leading them to question everything from their reality to their relationship to the rationality of love itself. After all, isn’t a certain amount of arguing normal? One recent survey found that couples argue an average of about… Read more »
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Why is it that we fight the most with those we love the most? Is it just because we’re two people with two completely separate minds spending so much time together that we’re bound to not see eye to eye once in a while? Or, is it something more profound, something deeper? Unfortunately, it’s usually… Read more »
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I often speak to people who are in distress over the way their romantic partner treats them. They believe that they want to be close, but that their partner is preventing it by being “condescending”, “critical,” “irresponsible,” “distant,” or “rejecting.” This makes them feel terrible or forces them to take control, demand attention, or stand up for themselves. They… Read more »
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Most people don’t naturally think they reject love, but the question really isn’t whether we do or not, it’s how much we do and why. I’ve talked a lot in previous blogs about the reasons so many of us are, to some degree, afraid of love, but here I’ll explain the ways this fear manifests in our… Read more »
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In my 30 years working with couples, I’ve noticed that most people have an easy time describing what they don’t want in their relationship. If prompted, they’re able to rapidly fire off the many issues that they feel are creating distance between them and their partner. Yet, if I ask the same people what they… Read more »
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Fighting with a partner is one of those unpleasant parts of a relationship that we wish wouldn’t happen. But what if it was also life-threatening? A Brigham Young University study, tracing couples over two decades, found that more arguments correlated with poorer health and concluded that couples who don’t argue live longer. While a happy relationship… Read more »
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When a study group recently asked kids to answer how they could tell if a couple was married, one answer that kept arising was “If they are arguing, then they are probably married.” This response might seem comical if it were coming from an adult, but coming from a child whose intentions are far from… Read more »
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