Search Results for: robert firestone

thinking positively

Thinking Positively: Why You Need to Wire Your Brain to Think Positive

…iness, better health and more optimism and positive emotions. According to Robert Emmons of the Greater Good Science Center, gratitude allows us to celebrate the present, blocks toxic, negative emotions, makes us more resilient, and increases our feelings of self-worth. Gratitude is like a muscle; the more you utilize it, the stronger it gets. There are many effective gratitude practices. For instance, you can keep a gratitude journal or a gratitu…

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Making Changes in the New Year

…es and influences us to withdraw from life and to not act in our interest. Robert Firestone calls this enemy within the “critical inner voice.” When we take action that reflects the life-affirming part of us, we are also taking action against the critical inner voice. When we stop a negative behavior and enact a positive one in its place, our critical inner voice is threatened and tries to get us back in line. If you conceptualize it as a maliciou…

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fear of intimacy

3 Ways to Tell You’re Afraid of Intimacy

…ainful emotions. As my father, psychologist and author of Fear of Intimacy Robert Firestone wrote, “Most people have a fear of intimacy and at the same time are terrified of being alone.” This can create a lot of confusion, as a person’s ambivalence can cause a real push and pull in their behavior. So, how can you identify if your own fear of intimacy is getting in the way of love? 1. Your Actions Don’t Match Your Intentions For some people, their…

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Coping with Grief

…to do the same. If you’re interested in the subject of coping with grief during Covid-19, I strongly recommend this webinar with Dr. Robert Neimeyer. You can learn more here….

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How to Beat the 5 Types of Boredom that Arise in Relationships

…entering into a fantasy bond. A fantasy bond is a concept conceived by Dr. Robert Firestone to describe how couples enter into an “illusion of fusion” that places the form of being a couple over the substance of being in love. When a couple enters a fantasy bond, they stop engaging in certain loving actions and behaviors that show respect for the other person as a separate individual, i.e. listening, making eye contact, showing affection, supporti…

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avoidant attachment

Do You or Your Partner Have an Avoidant Attachment Pattern?

…g a form of emotional neglect. They’re missing what my father psychologist Robert Firestone has called “love food,” a form of attuned emotional nourishment and parental warmth that they need to thrive, particularly in their first year. In its absence, the child may learn that the best way to deal with their frustration at not having their needs met is to act like they don’t have any. As Dr. Daniel Siegel put it, the child learns to disconnect from…

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5 Things to Do When Your Inner Critic Takes Over

…s the book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, co-authored by my father Dr. Robert Firestone, I’ve outlined what I believe to be an empowering approach to combat this destructive voice on a deeper psychological level. However, we can take on this inner critic on a daily basis by persistently peeling away its negative overlays from our real point of view. In doing so, we can become more resilient in our fight to act in ways that reflect both our rea…

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5 Ways Working on Ourselves Can Benefit Our Kids

…children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” – Robert Fulghum A lot of people marvel at how parenting has changed over the years. Some mock how it’s become so much more hands-on and child-centered. “We grew up like wild dogs in the ‘60s,” joked Jerry Seinfeld in a recent stand-up routine. “No helmets, no seat belts, no restraints. Anything came to a stop, we just flew through the air. I was either eating 100% sugar, or…

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Is Social Media to Blame for the Rise in Narcissism?

…effect on our kids. In our recent book The Self Under Siege, my father Dr. Robert Firestone and I write about the importance of parents encouraging their children to have a true sense of self. In order for children to feel secure and confident in themselves, it is essential for parents to distinguish emotional hunger from real love. Real parental love includes warmth, affection and attunement to a child’s needs, as well as offering the child guida…

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Why Can’t You Move on From Your Relationship?

…oncept developed by my father, author of Challenging the Fantasy Bond, Dr. Robert Firestone. He describes it as an illusion of connection between a couple where the form of being united replaces the substance of treating each other with love and kindness. In a fantasy bond, a lot of healthy relating is sacrificed for an illusion of security, an idea that the couple is fused in some way that can make them lose a sense of their individual identity….

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