…Trauma is an individual’s perceived lack of safety. Whether an event or a relationship leads to trauma depends on what other sources of stability or health were available to the individual. No one is in a position to say whether another’s experience amounts to trauma or not. What anyone perceives as trauma is up to each individual. Nobody gets to determine how a trauma impacted you besides YOU! By requiring diagnoses and definitions up-front, lik…
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…ning, purpose, creativity, and emotional depth and connection in one’s key relationships. Exploring Underlying Concerns Freud’s original conceptualization of anxiety as the global emotional outgrowth of thwarted sexual and aggressive urges has gotten bad press in recent decades. That’s unfortunate. Not uncommonly in my clinical practice over the years when I explore the underlying concerns by clients suffering panic attacks, something of a sexual…
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…, other people, and the world. Childhood trauma of any kind can affect our relationships with others as well as our mental and physical health. No matter when a trauma occurred or what shape it took, the importance of making sense of the experience cannot be overstated. The reason for this is that unresolved trauma haunts us in ways resolved trauma does not. Research shows that when we fail to process both large and small traumas, we can become st…
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…ive for personal comfort Checking in with yourself to ask why you might be experiencing uneasiness The practice of active listening fosters trust, reduces tensions, and creates a safe space that is conducive to bridge-building. Engaging in dialogue increases the opportunity to see the undeniable reality of lived experiences. We play out in our daily lives what we practice. Are you committed to hearing and learning from newly unmuted voices? Read m…
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…that NOT being able to identify and label which negative emotions you are experiencing at the time may be one of the distinct problems linking upsets and eating. While this finding warrants further investigation, it provides a concrete step you can try if you tend to struggle with managing negative emotions and use eating as the primary strategy to cope. Learn to identify, label and categorize negative emotions so you can do so in real time. You…
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…led in Westlake. The increasingly common rate of catastrophe we seem to be experiencing, whether from acts of violence or forces of nature, alert us to a very human need for connection. They call on us to draw from a well of compassion and understanding and to educate ourselves on how we can be there for one another. Though I hope to never need to use PFA, it is one thing I am grateful to carry in my toolbox, to have at hand and be able to extend…
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…cliché, there is almost always something to be grateful for. Everybody is experiencing some kind of trauma with COVID-19. The pandemic is by definition a source of trauma—a perceived threat to safety and stability. Life may feel especially difficult to cope with right now. Yet even as the virus has many negative effects on our current reality, we can find positive impacts – silver linings – that can give us hope and strength to hold onto. Recogni…
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…s and lose touch, but giving priority to these conversations can keep your relationships alive and well, while igniting all the parts of yourself that are enhanced by your friendships. 2. Honor the Feeling At this moment, there is an understandable drive to “keep calm and carry on.” However, when it comes to your emotions, ignoring and repressing isn’t always the best policy. When you fail to acknowledge or fully feel a feeling, it can become stuc…
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…om their earliest attachments that unconsciously direct their lives. Early relationships help shape a person’s adult romantic relationships, how they will parent, and how they expect others to react to them. Attachment research shows that when people fail to make sense of their past, they find themselves reliving and recreating it, essentially re-experiencing old hurts over and over again. However, making sense of the past is the best predictor of…
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…, warmth, and affection. We need to be steady, reliable, and consistent in relationship to them. However, it doesn’t mean we have to overdo for them. As parents, we are a warm, loving platform that our kids will one day spring from. We need to equip them with their own tools to feel safe in the world. This means allowing our kids to have independence and explore and to do as much for themselves as they can. It also means fulfilling our own needs s…
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