intimacy

The Fantasy Bond in Couple Relationships

By the time they reach adulthood, most people have solidified their defenses and exist in a psychological equilibrium that they do not wish to disturb. Although they may be relatively congenial with more casual acquaintances, over time there is typically a noticeable deterioration in the quality of relating within their most intimate relationships. As a… Read more »

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How to Fall Back in Love with Your Partner

It’s perfectly normal to have times when you feel more or less in love with your partner. Yet, it’s painful to have lulls in a relationship that leave you feeling hopeless or questioning its future. At these times, even if you have lists of issues you know are causing problems with your partner, it can… Read more »

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Healing from Attachment Issues

The attachment patterns we experienced as children impact us in powerful ways throughout our lives. Understanding our attachments to our parents or other influential caretakers can offer us incredible insight into why we live our lives today the way we do, and particularly, how we operate in our relationships. Our earliest relationships served as models… Read more »

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The Secret to Staying Close to Your Partner

In the intimate quarters of a romantic relationship, the reactivity between couples can be electric, the slightest jolt from one person sending the other into sparks. As emotional beings armed with complicated attachment histories, we key off each other in complex ways. The chronic lateness of our partner can cause us to feel wounded and vengeful…. Read more »

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How to Stop Fighting and Feel Close Again

Why is it that we fight the most with those we love the most? Is it just because we’re two people with two completely separate minds spending so much time together that we’re bound to not see eye to eye once in a while? Or, is it something more profound, something deeper? Unfortunately, it’s usually… Read more »

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Are You Creating Your Own Nightmare in Your Relationship?

A few years ago, I was talking to my friend and colleague Dr. Daniel Siegel, a leader in the field of interpersonal neurobiology. We were discussing how and why people find themselves stuck in certain relationship patterns. Dr. Siegel explained that our brains are actually wired to recreate conditions from our past. Our early experiences… Read more »

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How Embracing Vulnerability Strengthens Our Relationships

Science has revealed a long list of complex reasons why social connections benefit our mental and physical health. Experiencing relationships and support can lead to longer lives, healthier habits, reduced symptoms of stress, and a sense of meaning in life. Most of us have personally experienced these rewards and don’t need a study to tell us why… Read more »

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Cynical About Relationships: Is Cynicism Ruining Your Love Life?

Whether we are single or in a relationship, we’ve all probably noticed that there can be a lot of cynicism out there when it comes to dating and relationships. Some of us have experienced it ourselves, witnessed it in others, or even felt it directed toward us. Often, we come by our cynical feelings honestly…. Read more »

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Are You the Pursuer or the Distancer in Your Relationship?

Do you ever find yourself longing for your partner, wishing you could feel more connected, even when you’re both in the same place? Or, have you ever caught yourself fantasizing about taking a break from your relationship, wishing you could just slip away for a while? In most relationships, one partner has more desire for closeness,… Read more »

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Commitment Issues: Why Some People Have Them and Others Don’t

Adam is smart, talented and attractive. He’s successful in business and has an exciting lifestyle. He’s a winner, everyone agrees…except his ex-girlfriends. Any one of them can tell a story about Adam that includes disappointment or betrayal. Adam is not malicious. Like anyone else, he wants intimacy… but only so much. If things get too… Read more »

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