fear of intimacy

How to Deal with Relationship Anxiety

Our relationships can be our deepest source of joy, but they can also be a breeding ground for anxious thoughts and feelings. Relationship anxiety can arise at pretty much any point in our romantic lives. For many single people, just the thought of being in a relationship can stir up stress. If and when they… Read more »

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Are You Giving Up on Love?

It’s hard to really wrap our heads around this. Yet, I find—over and over again—that it’s true. Love doesn’t always just slip away; we push it away… actively. This may sound accusatory and dooming, but to my mind, it is one of the most optimistic realities about relationships. To the degree that we ourselves control… Read more »

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Avoidant Attachment: Understanding Insecure Avoidant Attachment

The way that parents interact with their infant during the first few months of its life largely determines the type of attachment it will form with them. The relationship between the primary caregiver and the baby can create a secure, anxious, disorganized or avoidant attachment style that will form a blueprint for relationships throughout the… Read more »

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Are You Sabotaging Your Relationship?

Most of us treat love like an external force. It’s something that happens to us, strikes us like an arrow or overcomes us like a storm. There is a problem with thinking of love this way, and that is that it can slant our focus outward. It overlooks our own sense of power and leaves… Read more »

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5 Excuses to Stop Making About Sex

Our sexuality is an important part of our identity. Feeling acknowledged as a sexual person contributes significantly to our sense of well-being. Although actual sex makes up a small amount of our time in a relationship, if the sexual contact between partners is absent or unsatisfying, it has a major impact on how we feel… Read more »

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5 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Love

I recently wrote a blog titled “7 Reasons Most People are Afraid of Love.” Within hours, the post had tens of thousands of reads and thousands of social media shares – numbers that would double and triple over the next couple days. At first, I was surprised at this response, but then I thought about… Read more »

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Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved?

Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate.  In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash… Read more »

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Why Am I Still Single? 8 Reasons People Often Stay Single

Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. They may have just gotten out of a meaningful relationship or have dated relentlessly and just haven’t found… Read more »

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Angry at Love

Most of us aspire to find love. It is unquestionably one of the most important goals of our lives. Because of this nearly universal truth, it isn’t always easy for people to grasp the fact that most of us are also angry at love. It is often the case that no matter how long we… Read more »

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Starting a Relationship 101

There are typically many questions running through our minds when starting a relationship. Does she really like me? Could things get serious? Is he the right choice? Where is this going? In this transitional period, we spend about as much time analyzing the relationship as we do participating in it. With everything from our casual… Read more »

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