fear of intimacy

Are You Sabotaging Your Relationship?

Most of us treat love like an external force. It’s something that happens to us, strikes us like an arrow or overcomes us like a storm. There is a problem with thinking of love this way, and that is that it can slant our focus outward. It overlooks our own sense of power and leaves… Read more »

Learn More

5 Excuses to Stop Making About Sex

Our sexuality is an important part of our identity. Feeling acknowledged as a sexual person contributes significantly to our sense of well-being. Although actual sex makes up a small amount of our time in a relationship, if the sexual contact between partners is absent or unsatisfying, it has a major impact on how we feel… Read more »

Learn More

5 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Love

I recently wrote a blog titled “7 Reasons Most People are Afraid of Love.” Within hours, the post had tens of thousands of reads and thousands of social media shares – numbers that would double and triple over the next couple days. At first, I was surprised at this response, but then I thought about… Read more »

Learn More

Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved?

Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate.  In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash… Read more »

Learn More

Why Am I Still Single? 8 Reasons People Often Stay Single

Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. They may have just gotten out of a meaningful relationship or have dated relentlessly and just haven’t found… Read more »

Learn More

Angry at Love

Most of us aspire to find love. It is unquestionably one of the most important goals of our lives. Because of this nearly universal truth, it isn’t always easy for people to grasp the fact that most of us are also angry at love. It is often the case that no matter how long we… Read more »

Learn More

Starting a Relationship 101

There are typically many questions running through our minds when starting a relationship. Does she really like me? Could things get serious? Is he the right choice? Where is this going? In this transitional period, we spend about as much time analyzing the relationship as we do participating in it. With everything from our casual… Read more »

Learn More

The Fantasy Bond: A substitute for a truly loving relationship

Defenses formed in childhood hurt adult relationships. Most people have fears of intimacy and are self-protective and at the same time are terrified of being alone. Their solution to their emotional dilemma is to form a fantasy bond. This illusion of connection and closeness allows them to maintain an imagination of love and loving while… Read more »

Learn More

Why You Should Be the One Who Loves More

There is always a lot going on between two people in a relationship. But very often, much of what goes wrong in a relationship has to do with what’s going on in our own minds. Most of us have a constant dialogue running in our heads, analyzing our relationship and informing us on how to… Read more »

Learn More

How to Fix a Relationship

“In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love When it comes to our relationships, the expectation of a perfect union or… Read more »

Learn More