Search Results for: lisa+firestone

A New Slant on Vulnerability: Strength Not Weakness

[This blog contains excerpts from an interview with Dr. Robert Firestone by Fred Branfman, political activist and author of Voices from the Plain of Jars] Part I: Fred Branfman: In our culture the idea of being vulnerable is associated with being fearful, anxious, and weak. For example, politicians and business leaders tend to project an air of invulnerability. In contrast, one of your central ideas is that vulnerability is an adaptive and desira…

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Accepting Our Anger During the Pandemic

…hing’s wrong. He’s not right in the brain.” Daring to Love, Move Beyond Fear of Intimacy, Embrace Vulnerability and Create Lasting Connection Tamsen Firestone with Robert Firestone, Ph.D. New Harbinger Publications, 2018…

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The Fear of Intimacy

Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D. and Joyce Catlett, M.A. – The authors of this book bring almost 40 years of clinical experience to bear in challenging the usual ways of thinking about couples and families. They argue that relationships fail not for the commonly cited reasons, but because psychological defenses formed in childhood act as a barrier to closeness in adulthood. While many people may not recognize their relationship concerns as the result o…

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love and deception

Overcoming the Real Pain of Break Ups, Affairs and Rejections

…ave often observed what my father, psychologist and theorist Dr. Robert W. Firestone, refers to as the “critical inner voice” to be the chief culprit in making break ups and affairs a matter of humiliation. While one would never think badly of a friend (or film star) who had been hurt by a significant other, rarely do people maintain the same standards for themselves. Instead, when they are hurt, they start to have harsh attacking thoughts toward…

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Is Happiness Really Normal?

…s a defense against the inevitable pain of the human condition. Dr. Robert Firestone describes this condition in his blog “Life-Affirming Death Awareness:” Most people spend their lifetime without a great deal of self-awareness, living lives of emptiness and drudgery based on their early programming. They rarely reflect on their circumstances but rather are addicted to a lifestyle of form and routine. Few develop a life plan or project that gives…

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Mindsight: The Unexpected Value of Getting to Know Yourself

…sing thoughts we all live with are what psychologist and author Dr. Robert Firestone refers to as the Critical Inner Voice. The Critical Inner Voice is created from experiences we had as children that caused us to turn against ourselves and develop negative self-perceptions. When left unchallenged, this inner critic can dictate our lives. A perfect illustration of this takes place in the classic film “Annie Hall.” When a young couple (Annie and Al…

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What Inside Out Can Teach us about Loving our Kids

…ed mood was not a coincidence. Within the large body of work by Dr. Robert Firestone, he has written extensively about the importance of feeling emotions. In the film, Coping with the Fear of Intimacy, he remarks on the irony of people’s fear of sadness, noting that, in his experience, they always feel better when they feel the sadness and get it out. As Firestone says, “Sadness tends to center people” (2000). Joseph Forgas of the Greater Good Sci…

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Where Does Our Love Go?

…n and spontaneity. This process is what psychologist and author Dr. Robert Firestone describes as the “fantasy bond.” A fantasy bond is established when real love, respect and camaraderie is replaced by an illusion of connection; when the substance of the relationship is replaced by the form. Couples are rarely aware of this transition, they just find themselves one day wondering where their love has gone. To understand why a fantasy bond is forme…

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relationship fix

The Key to Healthy Relationships: It’s All in Your Head

…us we are deficient. Voice Therapy is a technique developed by Dr. Robert Firestone that encourages people to identify and combat this Critical Inner Voice. Whether it is telling us that we are stupid to trust anyone or that we are simply unlovable, the Critical Inner Voice is at the core of many of our relationship woes. By being more attentive to our thoughts and emotions (including the Critical Inner Voice), we are better able to be attuned to…

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The Inner Voices Behind Violent Behavior

…iewing, and assessing violent individuals, along with my father Dr. Robert Firestone, I began to recognize certain “voices” (negative thought processes) that flood the minds of these individuals influencing them to engage in acts of violence. These “voices” aren’t experienced as hallucinations but rather are a systematic pattern of negative thoughts against to the self, and hostile and suspicious toward others. We call these destructive thoughts “…

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