…on the different techniques that can help individuals battle depression. In this one-hour online presentation, Dr. Lisa Firestone will share up-to-date information on various methods that have been proven to help alleviate symptoms of depression. She will introduce a concept known as the “critical inner voice,” an internal enemy we all possess that fuels symptoms of depression and often discourages those suffering from engaging in the very behavi…
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…hment to someone who has a healthy attachment pattern, we can develop more inner security, because we are actively experiencing a new model for how relationships can work. For example, if an intermittently available parent left us experiencing a lot of anxiety, uncertainty, or jealousy in our adult relationships, we can gain security by being with someone who is calm and consistent. If we grew up keeping to ourselves and avoiding closeness, having…
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…our calendars, we run into the same self-doubt, self-defenses and critical inner voices that have long created barriers to achieving our goals. Sometimes these inner enemy forces win, persuading us to slip up, then punishing us for failing once again. “Just stay in bed a little longer,” it will echo in our heads. “The gym can wait.” Then, as soon as we hit the snooze button, it starts in on us with thoughts like, “You never do anything you say you…
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…k your interest and make you curious about how this all fits with your own inner life. While these ideas may be new, reading the book will help them become a natural part of how you sense and experience your own inner and relational life and bring more balance into your world. My hope is that this table, and the book itself, will invite you to explore this framework of science and subjective experience and see how useful they can be in creating mo…
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…y upcoming book, Daring to Love, I go into more detail about how our negative identity gets in the way of our having love in our life. I explain an internal process, the critical inner voice, that supports the negative identity and how to challenge it and strengthen a positive, more realistic view of yourself….
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…family will usually feel that same way. So I try to kind of undermine that voice that encourages the depression and the isolation, which is that, “ I’m going to burden others by being depressed, by talking about this.” So really, you know, it’s about engaging more in their lives, being more physically active, doing the things that are going to help them feel better, even if it’s not, you know, immediate or a quick fix. That’s often what’s kind of…
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…isms, not words, but non-verbal communications: facial expression, tone of voice, prosody — these are processed exquisitely by the patient, so to speak, at a sub-cortical level. And again, what this means, is that if there is a lack of awareness, so to speak, of how one’s own subjectivity is being communicated to the other side of the inter-subjective field, this can really be problematic here. And what you have is very small mis-attunements which…
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…. It is generally best to state one’s anger directly and in a calm tone of voice, rather than in an angry or rageful manner. For example, saying “I felt angry at you when you did thus and so,” matter-of-factly is more effective than expressing it angrily, which will usually provoke an immediate angry retort. However, if you are further annoyed by the response to your anger, or it fails to achieve your purpose, you can always state things more stro…
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…as close to their partner. They may have destructive thoughts or “critical inner voices,” such as “How dare he treat you that way. You better stand up for yourself” or “she is so self-centered; she only cares about herself.” As my father psychologist Robert Firestone often says about engaging in this way, “You may win the battle, but you will lose the war.” While many people tend to be more combative, there are those who take the opposite approach…
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…le, if we were treated as incapable as kids, we may grow up with “critical inner voices” telling us we’re stupid or useless. In our relationship, we may start being forgetful or irresponsible in ways that provoke our partner to say and feel things toward us that reaffirm a core, negative sense of our identity. Through many years of working with couples and individuals who are engaging in these patterns, I have identified methods that help people c…
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