…e internal and external triggers, people can become more conscious and self-aware. They can pause to reflect and resist acting on thoughts that go against their own self-interest. Journal – Once you recognize your thoughts, you can record them as a means to get to know yourself better and familiarize yourself with your negative habits. Taking the action of writing down whatever comes into your head is a good alternative to engaging in destructive…
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…mpts the shift from helpless love to deep disinterest? What turns our heart-racing enthusiasm for another person to boredom and dissatisfaction? In order to identify the wedge that’s driving couples apart, it’s helpful to understand the concept of the “fantasy bond.” As the major principle of a comprehensive psychological theory developed by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, the “fantasy bond” describes a way of relating that se…
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…are hooked, guiltily or not, to the fanatical, addictive, and utterly over-the-top love between the film’s lead characters. So what is it about this solemn, interspecies affair that so appeals to the masses? To put it simply, vampires and werewolves aren’t the only element of fantasy we are taken with. It is the instant and eternal attraction between Edward and Bella, two somber teens, one human and one vampire, pulled together inexplicably again…
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…, it is productive for us to encourage them to challenge their hostile self-criticisms and self-attacks. This form of maladaptive thinking, which is referred to as the “critical inner voice,” leads a child to feel mentally defeated and victimized by circumstances. Allowing our kids to ruminate or act on these critical inner voices can have harmful effects. Instead, encourage them to identify these negative thoughts and challenge them in their acti…
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…ding your unhappiness. Talking about your problems or worries is not a self-centered or self-pitying endeavor. Friends and family, especially those who care about you, will appreciate knowing what’s going on. Even the simple act of putting yourself in a social atmosphere can lift your spirits. Go to a place where there are people who may have similar interests as you, or even to a public spot like a museum, park, or mall, where you could enjoy bei…
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…our interest is in trying new things and expanding our identity. In our day-to-day lives, we often do just the opposite by putting ourselves into boxes we believe to be practical, safe or sensible. Away from home, in a foreign location, we are open to new activities: sports, food, clothes and customs. So when we find an activity we connect to, there is no reason not to take this interest home with us. True, one may not be able to scale the Swiss A…
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…-perception, and helps them to develop what my father, psychologist Robert Firestone, and I have defined as the “Self-System.” The Self System describes the unique make-up of the individual that exists inherently, which is then informed by a harmonious identification with and incorporation of a parent’s positive attitudes and traits. When parents feel good about themselves, they are much better able to extend this positive sense of self to their c…
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…g only weeks ago, when she was stressing over her workload and uttering all-too-familiar phrases of her student life such as:I’m not going to get everything done. I’m doing a horrible job. They hate my thesis. My grades are going to be terrible. I’m never going to get a job. Yet, in that moment, poised to receive her diploma, she felt her self-attacks subside, as her attitude shifted from “I can’t do it” to “I did it.” I didn’t have long to ponder…
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…ds. By the time she got to class, my friend would no longer resemble the un-self-conscious, upbeat person who left her dorm. Instead, she’d become timid and unsure of herself, barely able to utter two words to the person sitting next to her. Unfortunately, our Critical Inner Voice is so well integrated into our thinking that it not only affects how we act but also facilitates how we are treated by others. If we shut ourselves up and refuse to be s…
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