Most of us treat love like an external force. It’s something that happens to us, strikes us like an arrow or overcomes us like a storm. There is a problem with thinking of love this way, and that is that it can slant our focus outward. It overlooks our own sense of power and leaves… Read more »
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Our sexuality is an important part of our identity. Feeling acknowledged as a sexual person contributes significantly to our sense of well-being. Although actual sex makes up a small amount of our time in a relationship, if the sexual contact between partners is absent or unsatisfying, it has a major impact on how we feel… Read more »
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I don’t believe in soul mates. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe in true love or the idea that two people can find each other and be truly happy together for the rest of their lives. What I reject, rather, is the belief that there is only one person in the world for us, and… Read more »
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Fighting with a partner is one of those unpleasant parts of a relationship that we wish wouldn’t happen. But what if it was also life-threatening? A Brigham Young University study, tracing couples over two decades, found that more arguments correlated with poorer health and concluded that couples who don’t argue live longer. While a happy relationship… Read more »
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Flirtation or Infidelity? What’s Okay and What’s Not A question that often arises in my practice is what constitutes infidelity? When is a flirtation innocent and when does it go too far? How can you draw lines when it comes to your and your partner’s behavior, especially when these lines have become increasingly blurred by a digital age,… Read more »
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It’s a pretty common consensus that love takes work. Yet, 80 percent of Americans under 30 believe in a soulmate, the idea that there is one perfect person out there just waiting to be found. Even the expression “falling in love” makes it sound like love is out of our hands — that it just happens… Read more »
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What keeps us from finding and keeping the love we say we want? Around this time last year, Virgin Mobile USA proclaimed Feb. 13 to be “National Breakup Day.” They did so after conducting a survey in which 59 percent of people said that if they were looking to end their relationship, they would hypothetically do so… Read more »
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Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate. In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash… Read more »
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Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. They may have just gotten out of a meaningful relationship or have dated relentlessly and just haven’t found… Read more »
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Most people question, at one point or another, am I in a healthy relationship? Is my partner right for me? Is our fighting normal? Are we really happy together? The answer is unique to the relationship, but one thing is almost always universally true: every couple goes through tough times. Even the best of matches… Read more »
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