Relationship Problems

Are You Creating Your Own Nightmare in Your Relationship?

A few years ago, I was talking to my friend and colleague Dr. Daniel Siegel, a leader in the field of interpersonal neurobiology. We were discussing how and why people find themselves stuck in certain relationship patterns. Dr. Siegel explained that our brains are actually wired to recreate conditions from our past. Our early experiences… Read more »

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How Your Critical Inner Voice Gets in the Way of Love

There’s a nasty defense mechanism that undermines and sabotages your efforts to have love in your life: your critical inner voice. It comes at you from all sides; it goes after you, it badmouths your partner, it slams your relationship, and it attacks love in general. We are mostly unaware of this internal enemy and… Read more »

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What Is Your Role in Your Relationship?

Conflict between a couple can often feel convoluted and layered in ways that are hard to make sense of. But, there is one dynamic that may be a bit easier to wrap our heads around. Very often, couples get into trouble when one person takes the role of a parent, and the other, the role of… Read more »

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Why Some Men Give Up Their Identity in a Relationship

Over the past 30 years of working as a psychologist doing individual and group therapy, I have often seen men struggling to maintain either the romance or friendship or both in their intimate relationships. It’s a subject I’ve been investigating and exploring for much of my professional and personal life. I’ve often noticed my men… Read more »

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Love Addictions: Do You Have an Unhealthy Addiction to Love?

While the term “love addiction” may be controversial among mental health professionals, having an overwhelming or obsessive compulsion toward love or a loved one is not uncommon. Love addictions are formed as a defense against psychological pain. Love addicts have a fantasy of being rescued by their loved one and often believe that this one… Read more »

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Take Control of Who You Are in Your Relationship

I often speak to people who are in distress over the way their romantic partner treats them. They believe that they want to be close, but that their partner is preventing it by being “condescending”, “critical,” “irresponsible,” “distant,” or “rejecting.” This makes them feel terrible or forces them to take control, demand attention, or stand up for themselves. They… Read more »

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How Embracing Vulnerability Strengthens Our Relationships

Science has revealed a long list of complex reasons why social connections benefit our mental and physical health. Experiencing relationships and support can lead to longer lives, healthier habits, reduced symptoms of stress, and a sense of meaning in life. Most of us have personally experienced these rewards and don’t need a study to tell us why… Read more »

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Fear of Abandonment

Many people grow up with fears around abandonment. Some are plagued by these fears pretty consistently throughout their lives. They worry they’ll be rejected by peers, partners, schools, companies, or entire social circles. For many others, these fears aren’t fully realized until they enter into a romantic relationship. Things will be going along smoothly, and… Read more »

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Is Your Smartphone Ruining Your Relationship?

Smartphone dependency is on the rise. According to Dr. James A. Roberts, “the typical American checks his or her smartphone once every six-and-a-half minutes, or roughly 150 times each day.” When one of these frequent phone checks interrupts a conversation or quality time with a romantic partner, it can have serious consequences on the relationship…. Read more »

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Cynical About Relationships: Is Cynicism Ruining Your Love Life?

Whether we are single or in a relationship, we’ve all probably noticed that there can be a lot of cynicism out there when it comes to dating and relationships. Some of us have experienced it ourselves, witnessed it in others, or even felt it directed toward us. Often, we come by our cynical feelings honestly…. Read more »

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