Search Results for: michelle deen/2010/06/2009/12/dr-lisa-firestone-“suicide-the-warning-signs”/2010/03/helper-tasks-how-you-can-help-someone-whos-suicidal/2010/03/helper-tasks-how-you-can-help-someone-whos-suicidal

Breaking the Fantasy Bond with Our Mothers

…he fear of being a woman.” Feelings of fear and guilt in relation to her mother can cause a woman to turn her back on her own personal goals, to retreat from her sexuality, or to withdraw from being close to her partner. Women who pull back in these ways feel bound to their mothers, not by a genuine sense of closeness, but by an imagined connection or fantasy bond that was a substitute for the warmth and attunement that was missing in the early at…

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Identity, Sexuality, and Society’s Assault on the Self: A Commentary on John Irving’s Novel, In One Person

…ssed in Irving’s novels and in much of e.e. cummings’ poetry and prose, is the theme of a forthcoming book The Self Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation co-authored by my father Robert Firestone, Joyce Catlett, and myself. To me, Irving’s appreciation and love of people’s differences, his acceptance of the diversity of human sexuality are a tribute to the values of nonconformity, tolerance and inclusiveness. As one reviewer noted,…

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Helping Parents Distinguish Love from Emotional Hunger

…m us with the ability to explore the world as the individuals they are. On the other hand, if we feel incomplete, we may look to our children or to our role as a “mommy” or “daddy” to complete ourselves and to feel whole, or to have a sense of value. One mother I worked with described how, until she got pregnant, she’d always felt alone. Carrying a child made her feel like she had a connection to someone else, yet once she gave birth, she immediat…

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Becoming Your Real Self: Shedding the Baggage of Your Past

…mpressions from early caretakers about who we are, how to view others, and how the world works. We often take on the traits of our early caretakers, the good as well as the bad, as if they are our own. Their positive traits are naturally and harmoniously incorporated as a part of our real self. However, their negative traits and the hurtful attitudes they express during our painful interactions with them, act as an overlay on our personality. We r…

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The Self Under Siege: A New Model of Differentiation

…efs. When taking this challenge of differentiation, clients have their best chance of living a goal-directed life & developing themselves to their fullest….

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Rekindling Desire

the wayside can be hurtful to our relationship and distance us from our partners. This book helps people understand why this transition has occurred and helps them to bring physical affection and sexual closeness back into their lives….

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A New Successful Approach to Anorexia Nervosa

…intensive outpatient program in which families are taught how to actively help their child get back to a healthy weight. The emphasis here is to first restore the child to a healthy weight, and then to address any underlying issues of anxiety or perfectionism with psychotherapy. The study compares individual therapy with family based therapy, and while both helped most of the teenagers get back to a normal weight within a year, the teenagers who…

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Parentcare After the Holidays

…eir stage of life. Knowing and acting upon these simple and obvious facts, can help the entire family to work better as a unit. When the seniors are asked what they are wanting, they feel empowered. When it is made clear that not all problems in later life can be fixed (such as chronic physical illness) as they might have been when one was young, the family can take a collective sigh of relief in knowing this is no longer the goal. Seniors can sti…

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Give Yourself a Retreat: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

…ay routine and reflect on your own life is actually one of the best things you can do for the people who matter in your life. Adding a retreat to your agenda is a healthy act of rejuvenation and revitalization and what better time to kick start your year then at the start of a new year? Going away on a retreat can help you gain much-needed perspective on your life. Though, the distressed critic in your head may shout at you that you are just tryin…

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How Your Relationship Affects Your Kids

…couple was married, one answer that kept arising was “If they are arguing, then they are probably married.” This response might seem comical if it were coming from an adult, but coming from a child whose intentions are far from getting a laugh, the answer is much more unsettling and much more worthy of our consideration. Whether we like it or not, our children are watching us all of the time. The saying that children are like sponges absorbing the

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