This is the first in a series of blogs describing my theoretical approach known as Separation Theory. It represents an integration of psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought and describes how early interpersonal pain and separation anxiety and, later, death anxiety, lead to the formation of powerful psychological defenses. The primary defense is the fantasy… Read more »
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Emotions guide our lives in a million ways. Whether we’re inclined to hide and avoid or ponder and express them, most of us don’t realize the extent to which they are driving our thoughts and behavior. Exploring our emotions is a worthy endeavor for anyone hoping to know and develop themselves, build healthy relationships, and… Read more »
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Recently, I wrote about “Living with an Accidental Identity.” I described how painful early experiences, definitions, and defenses affect the way individuals perceive and present themselves throughout their lives, leading them to develop an “accidental identity,” rather than a true sense of who they are. Understanding this process can lead people to question their negative identity and make… Read more »
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We often consider our identity as fixed and say things like “that’s just the way I am.” Yet, every one of us has the power to change most aspects of who we are at any given moment in time. If we’d like to be giving, we can be generous. If we’d like to be less… Read more »
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Let’s Make it Okay to Ask For Help The problem with the stigma around mental illness is huge! It stops too many people from getting help early, when it’s most effective. With a little knowledge, you and I can help end the stigma, prevent a great deal of suffering and save more lives. “That’s not a… Read more »
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Over the past 30 years of working as a psychologist doing individual and group therapy, I have often seen men struggling to maintain either the romance or friendship or both in their intimate relationships. It’s a subject I’ve been investigating and exploring for much of my professional and personal life. I’ve often noticed my men… Read more »
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Social media is a relatively new experience for the human psyche. With social networks becoming more ingrained in people’s lives each year and each generation, it is vital that we understand the full impact each social network has on our mental health. A new report, #StatusOfMind, published by the Royal Society for Public Health in… Read more »
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What is Low Self-Esteem Low self-esteem is characterized by a lack of confidence and feeling badly about oneself. People with low self-esteem often feel unlovable, awkward, or incompetent. According to researchers Morris Rosenberg and Timothy J. Owens, who wrote Low Self-Esteem People: A Collective Portrait, people with low self-esteem tend to be hypersensitive. They have… Read more »
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I recently had the pleasure of attending a talk by the writer Elizabeth Gilbert. She is one of those speakers who naturally brims with magnetic soundbites, seamlessly spilling a long string of insightful gems you wish you could snatch up and pocket for later reflection. But one thing she emphasized that stood out to me… Read more »
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“Your feelings aren’t that important.” “No one cares how you feel.” “Just forget about it.” “Bury your emotions.” “Keep a stiff upper lip.” “There’s no point in being sad.” “What’s wrong with you anyway?” “Be strong.” “Keep calm and carry on.” These are just a small sample of the thoughts that emerge from a choir… Read more »
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