attachment patterns

Why Do We Keep Ending Up in the Same Kinds of Relationships? The Answer Lies in Our Attachment Styles

As I observe my single friends and family members navigating the dating world and looking for love, I keep hearing the same question: Why do I always end up in the same kind of relationship? “I started out feeling optimistic about this relationship, but then things fell apart like they always do, and the relationship… Read more »

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Healing from Attachment Issues

The attachment patterns we experienced as children impact us in powerful ways throughout our lives. Understanding our attachments to our parents or other influential caretakers can offer us incredible insight into why we live our lives today the way we do, and particularly, how we operate in our relationships. Our earliest relationships served as models… Read more »

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Is Narcissism Shaped by Attachment Style?

Most of us have someone in our lives who comes to mind when we are asked if we know a narcissist. Perhaps, the person we think of can’t stop praising themselves, treats others as inferior, or seems unaffected by anyone else’s feelings and opinions. Or maybe, the person we think of is someone who always… Read more »

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Are You the Pursuer or the Distancer in Your Relationship?

Do you ever find yourself longing for your partner, wishing you could feel more connected, even when you’re both in the same place? Or, have you ever caught yourself fantasizing about taking a break from your relationship, wishing you could just slip away for a while? In most relationships, one partner has more desire for closeness,… Read more »

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Commitment Issues: Why Some People Have Them and Others Don’t

Adam is smart, talented and attractive. He’s successful in business and has an exciting lifestyle. He’s a winner, everyone agrees…except his ex-girlfriends. Any one of them can tell a story about Adam that includes disappointment or betrayal. Adam is not malicious. Like anyone else, he wants intimacy… but only so much. If things get too… Read more »

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Be Mine: Dealing with Possessiveness in a Relationship

How to Create a More Equal and Trusting Relationship The subject of having a possessive or controlling relationship partner may feel worlds away from the sweet sentiment behind asking someone to be your Valentine. However, many couples find there can be a slippery slope from desiring a lover to wanting to own them. When it… Read more »

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Why Do People Have a Type?

There’s a lot of mystery surrounding attraction. When we talk about our “type,” what pops into our head may be certain physical features or a number of positive qualities that seem totally reasonable to desire. Yet, there appear to be mysterious forces at play pushing us to choose certain people, and not all of these… Read more »

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The One Thing We All Should Do to Become Better Parents

Nothing feels more like a fresh start more than becoming a parent. When a child is born, the future is one vast, clean slate riding on a sea of our finest hopes, dreams, and intentions. Yet, pretty much every parent quickly learns that the sea is much rockier than anticipated. This is not just because of… Read more »

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Can Attachment Theory Explain All Our Relationships?

One mother’s journey through the science of attachment theory. The stage is set: a room with two chairs and some toys on the floor. A mother and her 1-year-old baby enter and begin the Strange Situation, a 20-minute, eight-episode laboratory experiment to measure “attachment” between infants and their caregivers. Through a one-way mirror, researchers observe… Read more »

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Where Our Relationship Patterns Come From

What makes us act and react the way we do when it comes to love?  In an ideal world, we would all be born with perfectly attuned parents who love us truly and are there for us whenever we need them, but who also give us just the right amount of space and independence to… Read more »

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