One of the most profound influences on the way we behave in relationships is our early attachment patterns. As children, the attachment patterns we formed were based on adaptations we made in order to feel secure in our environment. The ways we were cared for and related to by our parents or primary caretakers led… Read more »
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Breaking patterns to achieve better relationships Two questions I’ve heard frequently in my 30-plus years working with clients are “Why do my attempts at relationships keep ending in failure?” and “Are my standards too high? No one I want seems to want me.” The truth is that we all have different internal struggles that get… Read more »
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The attachment patterns we experienced as children impact us in powerful ways throughout our lives. Understanding our attachments to our parents or other influential caretakers can offer us incredible insight into why we live our lives today the way we do, and particularly, how we operate in our relationships. Our earliest relationships served as models… Read more »
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Most of us have someone in our lives who comes to mind when we are asked if we know a narcissist. Perhaps, the person we think of can’t stop praising themselves, treats others as inferior, or seems unaffected by anyone else’s feelings and opinions. Or maybe, the person we think of is someone who always… Read more »
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A few years ago, I was talking to my friend and colleague Dr. Daniel Siegel, a leader in the field of interpersonal neurobiology. We were discussing how and why people find themselves stuck in certain relationship patterns. Dr. Siegel explained that our brains are actually wired to recreate conditions from our past. Our early experiences… Read more »
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Many people grow up with fears around abandonment. Some are plagued by these fears pretty consistently throughout their lives. They worry they’ll be rejected by peers, partners, schools, companies, or entire social circles. For many others, these fears aren’t fully realized until they enter into a romantic relationship. Things will be going along smoothly, and… Read more »
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Do you ever find yourself longing for your partner, wishing you could feel more connected, even when you’re both in the same place? Or, have you ever caught yourself fantasizing about taking a break from your relationship, wishing you could just slip away for a while? In most relationships, one partner has more desire for closeness,… Read more »
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Adam is smart, talented and attractive. He’s successful in business and has an exciting lifestyle. He’s a winner, everyone agrees…except his ex-girlfriends. Any one of them can tell a story about Adam that includes disappointment or betrayal. Adam is not malicious. Like anyone else, he wants intimacy… but only so much. If things get too… Read more »
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There’s a lot of mystery surrounding attraction. When we talk about our “type,” what pops into our head may be certain physical features or a number of positive qualities that seem totally reasonable to desire. Yet, there appear to be mysterious forces at play pushing us to choose certain people, and not all of these… Read more »
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“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know that we cannot live within.” – James Arthur Baldwin The pursuit of love is a great motivator of mankind. Love is universal in that it’s something most of us strive for; it’s part of what gives our lives meaning. Yet, we all… Read more »
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