Millions of Americans struggle with unhealthy levels of stress. Stress isn’t just destructive to our mental health but to our physical health as well. It weakens our immune systems and contributes to heart disease, high blood pressure, strokes, and other illnesses. These facts are important, but reading about them, or even relaying them, admittedly makes me feel a little, well… stressed. Too often reflecting on our stress just makes us feel worse. So rather than scare you straight when it comes to stress, I thought I would offer a real solution to those nagging (at times terrorizing) thoughts that lead to stress.

The mere mention of the word stress is enough to make our heads spin with thoughts of to-do lists, meetings, schedules, social calendars, kids, work, money. Whatever the trigger mechanism is, it’s always there to distract us from any potential sense of calm. When we allow our negative thoughts to take over, we spend precious energy handling the symptoms of stress instead of solving the problem or dealing with what’s really making us feel such pressure or worry.

These negative thoughts tell us when to worry and what to worry about, but never do they offer us a real solution to our problems. If we were to challenge these negative thoughts, we would soon realize that not only is this destructive thought process amplifying our stress levels but it is actually causing us much of our anxiety in the first place.

For example, many of us feel concern when we have more things we need to do or want to do than we believe we can get done. Very often, however, we are placing too much pressure on ourselves and setting our expectations too high. In effect we are setting ourselves up, and literally scheduling ourselves out, to get stressed. When we set our standards too high, we often set ourselves up to later become a target for our critical inner voice. We start to have self-critical thoughts like: What is wrong with you? You never give 100 percent to anything. Can’t you just get one thing right? You’re such a failure!

Even when times are tough or the pressure being placed on us is external, we can seek out an inner sense of calm by quieting those inner voices that exacerbate the problem. This is not meant to undermine the fact we all have real concerns about our lives. We all struggle at some point with our careers, our families and our futures. Every one of us has concerns at one time or another about keeping a job, falling in love or raising our kids. However, what we actually feel about these things is usually never as bad as what our critical inner voice is telling us to feel about these things.

For example, when we lose a job, we may have thoughts like: What are you going to do now? You can’t do anything. How humiliating!

When we go through a break up with a partner, we may hear voices such as: See? No one could ever love you. You’re going to wind up alone.

Even an event as simple as forgetting to mail a letter can get our self-attacks going: You’re so irresponsible. How are you ever going to get anything done?

These thoughts impair us in our actions and lead us to feel demoralized and even more stressed out. We can interrupt this cycle by becoming more aware of the thoughts that are propelling our feelings of worry. For example, a friend of mine noticed she was waking up in a bad mood every morning. Feeling overwhelmed and rushed, her morning mood was slowly infiltrating her whole day. Snapping at people, overdosing on caffeine and rubbing her head to the point of almost literally tearing her hair out, she knew something had to change.

To understand her 7 a.m. stress, I suggested my friend write down all the thoughts she was having before she went to bed. When my friend did this, she noticed her head was full of vicious self-attacks. Her negative thoughts surfaced every night when she finally took a rest from pushing herself through her day. My friend recounted her thoughts to me: What did you actually accomplish today? You’re no closer to your goals then you were yesterday. Everyone hates you. You snap at everybody. Are you even doing a good job? What’s so important about what you do anyway. You never make time for anyone. You’re so selfish. You’d better work harder tomorrow.

When my friend told me her attacks, I was appalled. “No wonder you’ve been feeling under pressure in the morning. You’re tearing yourself apart right before you go to bed.” As soon as my friend realized this pattern, she started to feel compassion for herself and noticed herself feeling relieved of her morning anxiety.

To fully rid oneself of the critical inner voice, one must not only identify the negative thoughts but stand up to them. Putting our voices in the second person can help us make this initial separation. Try to write down your critical thoughts, first as “I” statements, then as “you” statements. If you have thoughts of feeling stupid, write down “You are so stupid.” Next, stand up to this internal enemy by writing down responses to your critical thoughts with the more realistic perspective of a compassionate friend. For example, you could write, “I am not stupid. Anyone can make a mistake. I have a lot of areas in which I am intelligent and confident.” The intention here is not to build yourself up, but to gain a more realistic view of yourself.

Finally, think about what the actions are that could counter your critical inner voices. When my friend had an attack that she was snapping at people, it didn’t help that she was acting on her self-critical thoughts by getting moody and lashing out at co-workers. Avoid actions that will lead you to feel worse. If eating three slices of pizza relieves you after a stressful day only to leave you later stressing over your weight, it’s best not to use that behavior as a coping mechanism. Remember the critical inner voice is tricky and can sound soothing or friendly as it lures you into self-destructive behaviors. Have that second glass of wine. Just stay home and relax on your own. Later on that voice will punish you with thoughts like: There you go having another drink. You can’t stick to anything. What a loner. You’ll never meet anyone.

The voice can also tell us that we are being victimized. When we have thoughts like, Why is everyone walking all over you? No one else does anything around here, we put ourselves in a powerless position and blame others for the pressure we’ve put ourselves under.

Dealing with stress means taking our own side without feeling like a victim. It means empowering ourselves against our inner critic and not allowing that critic to dictate our lifestyle. That critic will put up a fuss when we act against it and cause us anxiety over the changes we make in our lives. However, the more we persevere and the longer these negative voices in our heads are quieted, the better able we are to live in the moment without worrying about the past or the future. We can then deal with everything in our lives one moment, one step, one deep breath and one thought at a time.
 

Dr. Lisa Firestone, PhD, is the Director of Research and Education for The Glendon Association. Since 1987, she has been involved in clinical training and applied research in suicide and violence. In collaboration with Dr. Robert Firestone, her studies resulted in the development of the Firestone Assessment of Self-Destructive Thoughts (FAST) and the Firestone Assessment of Violent Thoughts (FAVT). Dr. Firestone has published numerous professional articles, and most recently was the co-author of the books: Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships (APA Books, 2006),Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice(New Harbinger, 2002), and Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: The Wisdom of Psychotherapy (APA Books, 2003).

Share

We love the New Year because it gives a clean slate on which we can rewrite our future, if not our past. Our commitment to resolutions for change is often lofty, and filled with unreasonable expectations, and we have little understanding for our defeat when we fall off our new vision for ourselves.

We often take mistakes, defeat, pain as commentary on our worthiness; a mark against us that can never be erased. What if these marks were instead indicators of our wisdom, like the mark of good broken in leather, or the beachside stone beaten by the waves into a polished brilliance?

Interestingly, there now is much talk about how to cultivate being in the present moment. It is so difficult to stop our minds from anticipating the future, to rest in this moment, yet when we fall from grace, it seems as if there is no future. Our pain becomes solidified, and we determine our fate as doomed, unable to see anything other than this moment. The agony can lead to feelings of hopelessness that sadly can lead to giving up, from simply stopping our engagement with our lives by creating a protective shield that keeps us from our own feelings and from the connection with others, to the ultimate tragedy: literally ending our lives.

It is all a matter of our perception. Our perception is formed by our experience, memory, beliefs, and the meaning we create based upon these experiences. If we have not been given the adequate support which grows a resilience, which means we are strengthened by adversity, our perceptions may lead to seeing the glass half empty.

We can learn to cultivate new perceptions and renewed strength by creating a new relationship to our “failings”.  I recently gave a talk that I had difficulty delivering. There were various elements that contributed to why it was difficult. I had to do last minute rewrites to fit into the limited time allotted, I was convinced I needed to have it memorized completely to avoid referencing my notes, and I was unable to prepare myself immediately prior to speaking, as I normally do. with voice and body exercises. In the end, my talk was slow and broken as I checked my notes to find my way, and I took twice as long as I should have. My perception was that I had failed. And my failing was not in the quiet of my personal life, but right there in front of an audience, witnessed by colleagues. Though I had received positive comments after the talk, my expectations, old beliefs, memories, and the meaning I gave to this, led me to feelings of shame.

Shame is becoming the wrong doing. I am the mistake or the failing versus I made a mistake or was unable to achieve a particular goal. The essence of shame is that there is something essentially wrong with us. Once I noticed this quality of shame, I immediately became aware of old patterns of thinking that had originated very early on in an excessively critical family system. This was not news; I have spent many years working directly with emotional patterns that were limiting. The news comes when present day experiences allow remnants of old negative beliefs to be revealed. Then, with this awareness, we can choose a response versus habitual reaction. It is up to us to decide how we will create the context that transforms the pain into possibility.

Shame then becomes an indicator of and the gateway to healing. The healing comes in re-informing the limited perception. This healing requires new supportive relationships that hold us in appreciation and love. This strengthens our system and reorients us to see what is right in us, and provides the roots that sustain us, like a tree whose branches bend and sometimes break in the storms, but all the while its trunk standing tall, supported by the interconnecting roots reaching into the depths of the earth, continuing to grow in the midst of difficulty.

Beginning with the relationship with ourselves, when we reach down into our bodies, beyond our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, and let our striving drop for a moment, we can breathe into what we are experiencing. In our pain are elements of heartache, a kind of mourning for what we could not do, and this heartache can then lead us to what it is we long for. If we can allow the qualities of forgiveness and compassion to be the new relationship to our Self, the shame is released as we recognize our humanity. In this being human, we can begin to take less personally the mistakes along the way, and widen our perception to include our limited individual vulnerability and the larger picture beyond just ourselves. With this new direction of attention we can then refocus our intention. My intention was to inform and inspire with my talk. In recognizing the pure pain of getting in the way of fully doing this, I could let go the unnecessary suffering of negative beliefs about my personhood, and get to the business of clearly looking at what skills I could improve, what great “learnings” I had found in my missing the mark, and practice new ways of communicating that could accent my longing to inspire. I became invigorated by my “failing” and was readied to begin again.

Beginning again is always an option. It sounds simple, but inquire into your own experience– whether it is with a new exercise routine or diet, a resolve to meditate or have a writing practice or be on time, or a promise of relating in kinder ways with your partner–what happens when you miss a day? Do rigid ideas of how you “should” do something, the black and white thinking and unforgiveness, get in the way of simply beginning again? Like the great Nike ad, “just do it” can cut through incessant thinking about failing to do it just right, and we can ‘just do it’ imperfectly.

There is a practice of “Beginning Anew” that I learned while studying with Thich Nhat Hanh , a peacemaker and human rights advocate nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King. It was presented as a way of working with conflict within relationship with another. Step one is to create a Mindful atmosphere both externally and internally, Step two is to express thanks to the other for who they are or what they have done (sounds easy, but imagine how angry you are with someone, this is the last thing you want to do), Step three is to express your apology for how you may have caused harm in the relationship (even harder to do, to admit fault when your eyes are peeled on what is the fault of the other), and Step four is to then express the pain you feel when the other does whatever the other does, and what your need is (now you are getting to what you wanted to express to begin with but because you are softened in relationship to yourself and the heart of the other , the communication comes in a non-injurious way)

My suggestion is to use this format of Beginning Anew for ourselves.

1. Create Mindfulness in ourselves (the quality of attention that is open, accepting, curious, non judging—using breath and an embodied practice)
2. Offer appreciation for what we have done
3. Offer our own mourning for how we have not aligned with our intention
4. Express what we long for, rooted in our strength, acknowledge what we might be able to change

When we feel defeated, fail to meet our own expectations, or have been unable to keep to our new resolution for change, it is not the end, but rather, the beginning of creating new perspectives that allow the possibility to open to and approach life as it is, as we are. It is the courageous heart that lives in imperfection, staying open to the vulnerability that brings forth the failings and the successes.

It is the willingness to be exposed to the light and the elements which allows our ripening and integration. Like the tree stripped of its leaves in winter, exposed, waiting, breathing the sunlight from above and the nutrients from below, letting the storms reveal both its vulnerability and its strength to restore with new buds of life.

Diane Renz, a licensed psychotherapist, founder of Your Gateway to Healing, writer, workshop facilitator, utilizes both her academic background and personal experiences to explore how pain can become our possibility. She currently studies with Dr. Dan Siegel integrating the latest scientific understandings on neuroscience and Mindfulness within her work. For more information feel free to visit www.yourgatewaytohealing.com.

Copyright 2012 Diane Renz, L.P.C., Your Gateway to Healing, Inc.

To read more from this author, visit her bio page:

Share

What is Esalen Institute?

Esalen is a non-profit organization that has been devoted to the exploration of human potential since the 1960′s. Historical luminaries like Aldous Huxley, Joseph Campbell, Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, Joan Baez, and countless others have gathered here to develop revolutionary ideas, transformative practices, and innovative art forms. Today Esalen is a retreat center where people live and work in a communal setting. Residents and guests participate in an incredible variety of alternative education and personal growth programs in subjects ranging from meditation to massage, yoga, psychology, ecology, spirituality, art, music, and much more.

Esalen Institute, renowned for its healing natural hot springs, has long been recognized as a world leader in alternative and experiential education. Dramatically situated on the Big Sur cliffs over the Pacific Ocean, the sacred beauty of the land—clear air, pulsing sea, garden path and waterfall, steaming mineral water bubbling up from deep within the earth—is itself transformative. Now in its fifth decade, Esalen offers more than 500 public workshops and seminars a year, accenting personal growth and social change, in areas traditionally neglected by mainstream institutions. A non-profit educational foundation, Esalen is also known for its research initiatives, invitational conferences, residential work-study programs, and long-term internships. Part pioneering lab and college for alternative practices, magical restorative retreat, and creative think-tank for the emerging world culture, Esalen is dedicated to exploring work in the humanities and sciences that furthers the full realization of the human potential.

Esalen is a major catalyst in the transformation of human kind, working with individuals and institutions to integrate body, mind, heart, spirit, and community in a nurturing relationship with the environment. Esalen is the leading center for exploring and realizing human potential through experience, education, and research. Esalen works towards the realization of a more humane and all embracing world, seeing answers to questions unlikely to be explored by traditional religions and universities.

The Esalen Institute is based around the idea that human possibilities vastly exceed our imagination, and that the realization of the human potential transcends both religious and scientific dogma. Esalen reasearch is aimed at inextricable link between the mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and social dimensions of our being. Transformation of consciousness is the basis for transformation of the world, individually, collectively, and in social systems. Esalen explores these possibilities, and encourages individuals in sharing the potential to love, learn, feel, and create.

Esalen is a provider of continuing education credits for nurses, psychologists, MFCCs, LCSWs, and other health professionals.

January 20-22nd 2012
Dr. Lisa Firestone presents: “Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice”
Hosted at the Eslaen Institute
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Are you living the life you were destined to live or are you living someone else’s? Are your actions based on what you truly feel and believe, or on negative programming from your past?

Lisa Firestone and Joyce Catlett, co-authors of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, are ready to challenge your customary ways of thinking about yourself, your relationships, and your career. The goal? To expand your boundaries and help you achieve more fulfillment in life. Based on theories and methods developed by clinical psychologist Robert W. Firestone, this workshop can help you counter negative thinking and live free from imagined limitations. Through videos, interactive discussions, and various exercises, the presenters will illustrate a number of important topics vital to an emotionally healthy existence:

• How do guilt and shame affect us in our everyday lives? How do negative thoughts about ourselves keep shame and guilt alive?

• How do destructive thoughts and attitudes undermine our efforts to achieve our full potential in our work lives?

• How does the inner voice interfere with intimacy and closeness in our relationships?

• Why does sex seem to become unexciting or routine for many couples after marriage?

• How can people challenge the destructive thoughts or voices that influence addictive behavior and break free of these patterns?

• How can we deal effectively with negative thinking that leads to a destructive spiral of depression and hopelessness?

 

Click Here to Read More from Dr. Lisa Firestone

 

Dr. Lisa Firestone, PhD, is the Director of Research and Education for The Glendon Association. Since 1987, she has been involved in clinical training and applied research in suicide and violence. In collaboration with Dr. Robert Firestone, her studies resulted in the development of the Firestone Assessment of Self-Destructive Thoughts (FAST) and the Firestone Assessment of Violent Thoughts (FAVT). Dr. Firestone has published numerous professional articles, and most recently was the co-author of the books: Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships (APA Books, 2006),Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice(New Harbinger, 2002), and Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: The Wisdom of Psychotherapy (APA Books, 2003).

 

Share

As any of you still shopping for that perfect present for that certain someone knows, this time of year is designed for thinking about others. Thoughts of getting away or doing something for yourself seem, at best, foreign and, at worst, selfish.

Odd as it may seem, taking real, quality time to “escape” from your everyday routine and reflect on your own life is actually one of the best things you can do for the people who matter in your life. Adding a retreat to your agenda is a healthy act of rejuvenation and revitalization. It can help you assess what’s important and gain much-needed perspective. And while the distressed critic in your head may shout at you that you are just trying to get away from your responsibilities, problems, and commitments, a productive retreat will truly do just the opposite.

With this in mind, what better time to kick start your year then at the start of a new year? This January, I am teaching a weekend CE workshop on how to “Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice,” at Esalen in breathtakingly beautiful Big Sur, California. Although I’ll be teaching this workshop, I am also looking forward to connecting with my own sense of who I am, what matters to me, and identifying and overcoming those daily internal dialogues that get in my way.

Granted there are always many reasons to stay home to take on those dusty to-do lists, those pesky New Year’s resolutions, or those personal goals of spending more time with your partner or your children. Yet, there are many reasons why a retreat will benefit you and those you love in the long run. Here are just a few of them:

Nature helps

The poet William Blake once wrote, “Great things are done when men and mountains meet. This is not done by jostling in the street.” Whether we consider ourselves tree huggers or urban dwellers, most of us inevitably surrender to scenes of absolute, natural beauty. Connecting to nature through a retreat like Esalen is primitive in the best possible way, dipping us down to earth, while making us feel like we’re in heaven. Even the most loquacious of individuals have gone quiet over an astounding view, and even the most social of butterflies have sat alone to watch a butterfly. Setting our overwhelming goals aside and getting out in beauty has a powerful way of quieting us and attuning us to ourselves, setting the stage for an inner evolution or motivation to change.

Unplug to reconnect

At Esalen you learn to live for a brief moment away from your phone. If this caused your heart to skip a beat, as it ever so slightly does to mine when I first imagine it, then, chances are, you could use some time away from your phone. When you unplug from technology, you are forced to be fully present and living socially, face to face – without Facebook. You are forced to get outside of the distractions that typically crowd your mind and enjoy the empty space that allows you to think. This is the perfect state to get to know yourself better, to think about what truly lights you up and to reconnect with those aspects of yourself.

Think locally, act locally

A recent study posed that, throughout history, those who lived in a group of 100 people experienced the most cultural success and social peace. Though there are benefits of being connected to the rest of the world, with this connection comes many inputs that cause us stress and sidetrack us from achievable change. Getting away from the News, the traffic, and the things that render us small and powerless to the forces of the outside world helps us shed heavy self-protective layers and relate to our present surroundings. At Esalen, you eat phenomenal food that’s grown in the garden, you sit in a spa that overlooks the ocean, and you live in the moment, simply because there is nowhere else to live.

Say goodbye to your inner critic

On a retreat such as those offered at Esalen, you are not just a passive student in a class. Rather, you’re part of an experience. You have the chance to make friends and actively take on a new perspective toward yourself. In this unfamiliar setting, you are no longer defined by such things as how you dress or what you do for a living. Away from these categorizations, you can identify the negative thoughts that are influencing your behavior in your daily life. How much time do you typically spend tearing apart your appearance, stressing over your performance at work, or overanalyzing the ins and outs of your relationship? It is much easier to recognize and combat those feelings when you are out of your routine life. Our workshop will provide the opportunity to recognize this inner critic. And with the support of a group, the experience will help you practice challenging your critical inner voices.

When you identify this inner critic and make a conscious effort to separate from it, you can actually get closer to your partner, be a better parent to your kids, and achieve more success at work. Once distanced from this self-critical point of view, you are reduced to who you really are, and inevitably you will feel more fulfilled and confident.

Get away from your world and closer to your goals

Going on a retreat naturally removes you from thoughts of what you should be doing and allows you to just be. When you get away from the constant flood of “shoulds,” you begin to experience your true wants and desires, which allows you to pursue what really matters to you. The uniqueness of the experience and the perspective it allows you to gain on yourself can actually be measured in the results the experience yields. Research shows that professors who go on sabbatical bring in more money, build stronger relationships, and offer more prestige to their university.

Sometimes in the business of our lives we forget that taking a break and slowing down can actually make us more effective. Businesses that send their employees on a retreat see happier, more productive staffs. Couples who go away (together or separately) learn valuable and lasting tools in keeping their relationship strong. Parents who take time for themselves are more available and attuned to their children. The excuses to not get away, like you need to spend time with family or get practical affairs in order, will often do you less good in the long run than taking the time for yourself to become who you strive to be and returning home to actually be it.
 

Dr. Lisa Firestone, PhD, is the Director of Research and Education for The Glendon Association. Since 1987, she has been involved in clinical training and applied research in suicide and violence. In collaboration with Dr. Robert Firestone, her studies resulted in the development of the Firestone Assessment of Self-Destructive Thoughts (FAST) and the Firestone Assessment of Violent Thoughts (FAVT). Dr. Firestone has published numerous professional articles, and most recently was the co-author of the books: Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships (APA Books, 2006),Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice(New Harbinger, 2002), and Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: The Wisdom of Psychotherapy (APA Books, 2003).

Share

For centuries, philosophers, social scientists, and psychologists have struggled to answer ethical questions regarding the use and misuse of power. They have described both the positive and the negative effects that powerful individuals have had on the business world, politics, religious movements, historical events, and the lives of individual members of society.

Typically, power has been viewed with suspicion or given a negative or evil connotation. Pejorative terms such as “harsh,” “exploitive,” “fascist,” “sadistic,” and “Machiavellian” have been used to describe the ways in which power and influence have been exercised. Although this is too often true, power and leadership per se are obviously neither positive nor negative in and of themselves. However, the specific types of power that people tend to develop over time and the methods whereby they accumulate and utilize this power to either inspire, dominate, or destroy other people, can be evaluated from an ethical point of view.

As described in The Ethics of Interpersonal Relationships (2009), there is a clear distinction between positive power, which I refer to as personal power, and negative power, which can take either a covert or overt form. From this perspective, there are three basic types of power:

Personal power is based on strength, confidence, and competence that individuals gradually acquire in the course of their development. It is self-assertion, and a natural, healthy striving for love, satisfaction and meaning in one’s interpersonal world. This type of power represents a movement toward self-realization and transcendent goals in life; its primary aim is mastery of self, not others. Personal power is more an attitude or state of mind than an attempt to maneuver or control others. It is based on competence, vision, positive personal qualities, and service. When externalized it is likely to be more generous, creative and humane than other forms of power.

Covert negative power is based on passive-aggression and is manifested in behaviors indicating weakness, incompetence and self-destructive tendencies that manipulate others in the interpersonal world by arousing their feelings of fear, guilt and anger. Although different from overtly destructive power plays, these subtle manipulations can be equally destructive. This mode of control indicates a lack of accepting power over one’s life and is manifested through childlike machinations such as falling apart, tantrums, and other self-destructive behaviors. Covert negative power can dominate and control the life of entire families; it represents a type of terrorism in which one person is made “accountable” for the misery and unhappiness of another. For example, people who lead chronically addictive lifestyles, or are self-destructive or threaten suicide are especially effective in eliciting fear responses in their loved ones.

Overt negative power is characterized by aggressive tendencies and is exercised through the use of domination, coercion, or force to control others. It can be manifested within a relationship or become a significant part of a political or social movement. Totalitarian governments and tyrannical leaders are examples of this type of destructive power. Leaders who use force or threats of punishment to accomplish their goals eventually oppress and demoralize their constituency. Totalitarian leaders and dictators play on the fears of citizens in order to establish, maintain, and increase their power base.

In many cases, the personality structure of people who actively and persistently seek power through destructive means reflects underlying psychological disturbance. This includes problems with anger, narcissism, vanity, and sociopathic tendencies. People who utilize overt negative power are generally compensating for inferiority feelings and for real or perceived inadequacies. They tend to be cut off from feeling for themselves and others, and to express the authoritarian, parental side of their personality by acting superior and judgmental.

Having control over others can become addictive for these individuals in that it produces feelings of elation and diminishes feelings of insecurity. By achieving power over other people, destructive leaders are also attempting to deny their feelings of powerlessness in relation to death. The fantasy of being immune to death supports their vanity and offers them a sense of being special and, as such, exempt from natural forces. Because this process never succeeds in completely eliminating the fear of death, the need for power becomes increasingly compelling, often leading to disastrous outcomes and crimes against humanity.

Unfortunately, in the political sphere, destructive leaders appear to have considerable staying power, often inflicting suffering on multitudes of people over many decades (e.g., Adolf Hitler, Mao Ze-dong, Pol Pat of the Kymer Rouge, Joseph Stalin). History has shown that many pathological leaders who assume positions of power early in their careers become increasingly authoritarian, paranoid, and punitive as they grow older. For example, in his later years, Stalin embarked on a program to purge the party of suspected political heretics that led to the murder of thousands, including his trusted lieutenants (Radinsky 1996).

The ideology underlying many political movements may be motivated by the desire for reform and the wish to create a more egalitarian society. In spite of a mandate to accomplish positive ends, the means through which leaders attempt to achieve these ends can be cruel and destructive. In these cases, benevolent goals and concern for the welfare of people are voided by narcissistic power needs and willingness to use any means to attain their goals.

In conclusion, understanding the components of personal power can help us identify specific qualities that one needs to develop in order to become a better human being as well as an effective and ethical leader. Similarly, an awareness of the diverse ways in which individuals utilize covert negative power in their personal relationships has the potential for ameliorating much of the disharmony and conflict within couples and families. Lastly, insight into the dynamics underlying the exercise of overt negative power is crucial to understanding social and political issues in contemporary society. The role played by psychological defenses in motivating political leaders and their agendas compels our attention and concern. I believe that a better understanding of the myriad defenses against death anxiety sheds light on the underlying motivation of power-struck individuals who comprise a major threat to societies and nations.

Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, theorist and artist. He is the Consulting Theorist for the non-profit, The Glendon Association. He is author of many books including Voice Therapy, The Fantasy Bond, Compassionate Child-Rearing, Fear of Intimacy and Beyond Death Anxiety among others. He has published more than 30 professional articles and chapters for edited volumes, and produced 35 video documentaries. His art can be viewed on www.theartofrwfirestone.com.

Share

The following interview with Dr. Lisa Firestone was conducted by BestofYouToday.com, a website focused on providing insightful articles and information to promote conscious healthy living.

BOYT: What motivated you to write Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice with your father, Dr. Robert W. Firestone, and Joyce Catlett?

Dr. Lisa Firestone: After years of therapy practice, we could see how much our patientsgained from a deeper understanding of their critical inner voice, and we wanted to make it available to the general public.

The goal is to help individuals gain an awareness of the critical inner voice that causes us to fall short of our capabilities and prevents us from living the life we want to live. Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice offers a means by which readers can free themselves from the harmful effects of this destructive inner process. We developed Conquer while simultaneously conceptualizing the founding principles behind Psychalive.org, sister website to The Glendon Association. PsychAlive is a multi-media website introducing psychological principles for everyday life and encouraging people of all ages to take an active, introspective approach to their lives.

BOYT: Where do our critical inner voices come from? Why do they seem so powerful?

Dr. Lisa Firestone: Our critical inner voices are embedded in our earliest childhood experiences and are reinforced throughout childhood, adolescence, and into adulthood. While the negative inner voice can be affected and sometimes worsened by current day life experiences such as significant trauma or abusive relationships, it does not develop suddenly in adults; it’s based on implicit memories of trauma experienced in childhood. This isn’t necessarily “Big T Trauma” such as sexual or physical abuse, but everyday trauma that kids experience growing up.

Children are extremely perceptive and aware of their parents’ feelings toward them, as well as their parents’ feelings toward themselves. Most core negative beliefs get passed from one generation to the next, simply because parents unknowingly pass on the negative beliefs they have toward themselves onto their children. As adults, we must fully experience and understand the pain of our own childhood in order to prevent passing this pain on to our children.

The negative inner voice we experience as an adult is a direct result of the defenses we developed as children in order to cope with stressful or painful events. As children, these defenses provide protection against the emotional pain we experienced in our families, but as adults these defense will actually limit us, and prevent us from developing to our true potential.

BOYT: Does our critical inner voice serve a good purpose?

Dr. Lisa Firestone: No.A lot of people might mistake their critical inner voice with their conscience. The critical inner voice is not a conscience or a moral guide. Even though the “voice” may sometimes seem to be related to our values and ideals, its statements against us have a degrading and punishing tone that promotes self-hatred. Challenging the internal critic can be extremely difficult for this reason. The “voice” acts as a filter, making negative interpretations of present day events based in negative experiences that occurred in the past.

For example, if a hunting lion pounces at zebra but misses, the lion doesn’t mope around thinking about what an awful lion he is; he moves to another water hole because he still has to eat to survive. If the lion were to listen to his critical inner voice he would never get any food and would eventually die. It’s the same with humans; even if a criticism is true about you, it is never appropriate to be nasty or degrading toward yourself. If there’s something you don’t like about yourself, it should interest you and motivate you to change it. Becoming familiar with every aspect of the critical inner voice will help you align your actions with your goals in life.

BOYT: How do you tell the difference between a critical inner voice and a truthful voice that says something you really should face up to?

Dr. Lisa Firestone: Constructive, positive feelings toward oneself will include attitudes of curiosity, openness, acceptance, and love. It’s always good to be open and honest with ourselves, but we want to stay away from negative, nasty inner thoughts that are maladaptive. The critical inner voice can seem seductively positive at times and can often be self-sabotaging. This self-protective inner voice warning you to take caution (“Don’t let anyone get too close to you, or you’re going to get hurt again”), only prevents you from achieving what you truly want in life, such as a meaningful relationship. The real you is the undefended part of your personality, the unique qualities we possess such as physical attributes or ability, temperament, certain dispositions, and a natural identification with the positive traits our caregivers possessed. We are much more adaptive as individuals if we can separate ourselves from these critical inner voices and become who we truly are.

BOYT: You have said many of us are plagued with this inner voice to the point that our entire lives are influences by it and we may not even recognize this. Can you give us some examples of how this negative inner voice can influence a person’s life?

Dr. Lisa Firestone: It’s important to remember that the critical inner voice is the language of the defended, negative side of your personality, the side that is opposed to your ongoing personal development. Feelings of self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy can prevent a person from pursuing the career they really want or performing at their highest potential. An individual may also sabotage themselves with self-destructive behaviors like addiction.

Your critical inner voice can be subconsciously causing you to do the very things you’re trying to overcome. This negative inner voice can interfere with work and relationships, and can even lead to depression and anxiety disorders. In the most severe cases, the critical inner voice can drive an individual to commit violent behavior or suicide. These destructive thoughts and attitudes can become so intense they begin to take precedence over our realistic or more positive ways of thinking.

BOYT: In your book you discuss how to go about rising above your critical inner voice. Please give us an overview of the process

Dr. Lisa Firestone: All of us are divided within ourselves and have a basic conflict in relation to our goals and aspirations in life. While most people are conscious of some aspects of their inner voice, many negative thoughts exist on an unconscious level. The first step is to identify your critical inner voice and then, to differentiate yourself from that negative inner voice. A journal can be an effective tool in identifying and challenging your critical inner voice. Write down how you feel throughout the day and the circumstances that caused you to feel this way.

The next step is to separate yourself from your critical inner voice. Understand where it comes from and allow yourself to be aware of its causes. Once we understand where these voices come from, we can identify what they are preventing us from achieving. The next step is to make a plan of action. Challenging the critical inner voice is going to be uncomfortable and it’s going to bring up a lot of anxiety at first. The voice will get louder as you begin to fight against it, almost like a parent yelling at their child to get back in line, but it’s important to remember to put distance between the negative thoughts and the corresponding bad behavior. The critical inner voice is like an internal monster that grows stronger each time you feed into it. By distancing yourself from the voice, you can begin to starve the monster, and the anxiety will eventually decrease.

BOYT: When someone has identified their destructive inner voice, is it usually easy to figure out where and why that voice exists? Is the answer not always the one that a person feels it obvious?

Dr. Lisa Firestone: An individual’s destructive inner voice most commonly originates in early childhood. As infants, in the process of bonding with our parents, we absorb and take in their attitudes toward us. These internalized antagonistic attitudes form the basis of the critical inner voice. One can identify the origin of the voice by recounting and understanding the trauma of one’s childhood. When parents have unresolved feelings from either trauma or loss in their past, these feelings will impact their reactions to their children.

A lot of times children embody unresolved issues from their parents’ past into their own current day lives without even recognizing it. We can stop this cycle by addressing unresolved issues in our own past and allowing ourselves not only to fully feel the pain of childhood trauma, but also understand it.

BOYT: Is it hard to get rid of our critical inner voice? If so why is that? Is it possible to get rid of it entirely?

Dr. Lisa Firestone: It’s extremely difficult to break free of, but we can control it, recognize it for what it is, and prevent it from spiraling out of control. Does this mean you’ll never have another self-critical thought again? Of course not, but we can do our best by first recognizing the critical inner voice and separating it from our own.

BOYT: For the parents among our readers, can we raise our children in a way that will protect them from their critical inner voice?

Dr. Lisa Firestone: Children learn to parent themselves at a young age as a means of survival, treating themselves in much the same way they are treated by their parents—both soothing and punishing themselves. By engaging in behavior that makes children independent, you will allow them to differentiate themselves as individuals rather than extensions of you.

As parents, we should always be aware of our own preconceived ideas for our children. Are we really interested in getting to know who they are as individuals? Repair mistakes you make with your child, because even perfect parents don’t get it right all the time. Addressing a mistake you made with your child will allow them to be more accepting of their own mistakes, and will help to prevent unresolved trauma from carrying into adulthood.

The next time you notice yourself struggling with your child, identify the circumstances that are making you so upset. The most important thing to remember is that you can’t do for your child what you think you needed as a child. Your children are not you; they are their own unique beings that need constant love, care, and attunement. Children depend on the love and support of a social structure and will always adapt to their situation in self-protective ways. Letting your children talk to you about their critical inner voice will allow you as a parent to identify the mind behind your child’s behavior. By talking to your kids about their own critical inner voice, you can help them recognize when they are attacking themselves and prevent those ideas from affecting them in the future.

Click Here To Read The Original Article From Best of You Today

Dr. Lisa Firestone, PhD, is the Director of Research and Education for The Glendon Association. Since 1987, she has been involved in clinical training and applied research in suicide and violence. In collaboration with Dr. Robert Firestone, her studies resulted in the development of the Firestone Assessment of Self-Destructive Thoughts (FAST) and the Firestone Assessment of Violent Thoughts (FAVT). Dr. Firestone has published numerous professional articles, and most recently was the co-author of the books: Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships (APA Books, 2006),Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice(New Harbinger, 2002), and Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: The Wisdom of Psychotherapy (APA Books, 2003).

Share

The following videos and transcripts are part of an exclusive interview series with Dr. James Gilligan and Dr. Lisa Firestone. Dr. James Gilligan is a renowned violence expert, and has contributed years of research to the treatment of  some of California’s most violent prisoners. Additionally, he served as an expert witness in the litigation that was subject of the Supreme Court decision in Plata V. Brown.

Dr. James Gilligan on Love and the Soul

The human soul, the human psyche, needs love in order to survive, just as specifically as the body needs oxygen in order to survive. And for people who haven’t been starved for love, that may not be the first thing they would think of. I mean, we kind of take it for granted that we get love from a lot of people. But if you have lived in an environment where you were starved for that, you’re talking about a whole different range of experience. Just like with somebody who’s starved for oxygen, I mean, most of the time we don’t even think about the air we breathe, it’s just the air we breathe. But when somebody’s oxygen supply is cut off, you realize it’s life threatening in a very short time. Well, it’s the same with the prisoners. They were like people whose oxygen supply had been cut off, but it was their love supply. And I realized that without love, the soul cannot survive; it dies. And that’s what these men were telling me, that their souls had died. That’s why they were capable of killing other people.

Dr. James Gilligan on How Prison Worsens Violence

Most prisons do more to stimulate violence and crime than they do to prevent it. Prisons have often been called “schools for crime,” I’d call them graduate schools for crime. People often have to become violent in order to survive in them. Or, even if they’re not attacked by others, they are subjected to conditions of degradation and humiliation and intimidation and threats that I think might drive the most saintliest of people, you know, to become violent in response.

No One is Hopeless

I have seen the most violent people we have, and when I first started out with many of them, I thought they were hopeless. I thought there was nothing we could do, they were untreatable, incurable. What I discovered was I was wrong. I’ve known some of these men for 25 or 30 years now. People who were off the scale, who were mute, paranoid, multiple murderers, who’d been killing people even after they got into prison or jail, we were able to work with and turn around so that they haven’t harmed a hair on anybody’s head, you know, for that last 25 years, and are, in fact, engaged in constructive work. In the case of the extremes like I just mentioned, still, in a correctional institution, but, in other words, not harming anybody and not harming himself, even after he had a history of killing people within the jail. So what I’m saying is you can take the most hopeless cases and my recommendation is don’t give up on anybody. There is no human being who cannot be reached at some level or another if you have the dedication and the patience and you’re willing to think of it as something that has to go on sometimes, not just for months or years, but for decades. Human beings, even dead souls can be resurrected. And we can learn something from that. We’re not just doing this to be good Samaritans, to, you know, these poor murderers. We are doing it also because it helps the entire human race, it helps all of us if we can learn what causes violence and how we can prevent it. And we can only learn it, I think, ultimately, from the most violent people.

Dr. James Gilligan on Education Halts Recidivism

There are several things that we do know about this that I think are worth sharing. One is that study we did in the Massachusetts prisons to find out what programs had been most effective in preventing recidivism or re-offending among prisoners after they left the prison and returned to the community, we found one program and only one that was 100% successful in preventing recidivism. And that was the prisoner getting a college degree while in prison. For a 25-30 year period – actually, it is much more than 30 years now – professors from Boston University and other local colleges and universities have been teaching courses in some of the Massachusetts prisons for which the prisoners are granted a degree giving credits by the university. And we followed several hundred prisoners who had received a bachelor’s degree, or in some cases, a master’s degree while in prison. We followed their performance after they left prison and returned to the community. Over a 25 year period, we found not one individual who had committed a new crime and been returned to prison. And I thought at first, we had just missed somebody. But then I discovered that the state of Indiana reported exactly the same result; the Folsum State Prison in California reported the same result. Then we extended the study to 30 years and we found two people who had been returned to prison. But that was a recidivism rate well under 1%. Compare that with the average recidivism rate throughout the United States among the state prisons after people leave the prison. It’s 65% recidivism after three years. We’re talking about less than 1% over a 25 year to 30 year period.

Dr. James Gilligan on Solving Violence

I treated the violent prisoners in the prisons as my teachers and I was their student in my effort to learn what caused them to become violent. And they would teach me. I just had to listen to them. I had to pay attention. If we don’t take that attitude of wanting to learn from them, then we lose a golden opportunity to learn how to solve what I think is arguably the most serious public health problem our society, in fact, our species, faces. I mean, if you think about it, the human propensity to commit just unlimited degrees of violence is the most direct threat to the continued survival of our species.

Dr. James Gilligan on Psychotherapy

One reason that psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, when they are properly conducted are such powerful forms of showing respect to another human being. When a therapist is giving his full attention to one person, without distraction, and saying, “What you’re telling me is so important, I will push everything else out of my attention and pay attention to you.” You are showing that person respect.

Dr. James Gilligan on a Human’s Response to Trauma – Ego Disintegration

So, [the person facing trauma responds in this manner:] “I’m just going to disassociate from that person who’s going through this and I’ll be like I’m somebody else and I’m looking on. But I can’t tolerate the horror, and the fear and the pain that I am going through.” Now, obviously this is not a, either a conscious process or a voluntary one. I’m talking about automatic survival mechanisms that the human psyche engages in, in order to survive levels of trauma that would just obliterate the self immediately. I mean, people, they couldn’t function. I would say the deepest fear that human beings have as I have seen it, as I have observed it over the years is the fear of the disintegration of the self.

Dr. James Gilligan on Violence

The main social and economic causes of violence – and I’ll add political causes – are those that divide the population into the superior and the inferior, the strong and the weak, the rich and the poor. The more highly unequal a society is, the higher its rates of violence. For example, the most powerful predictor of homicide rates throughout the world – and this has been repeated in dozens of studies – is the size of the gap between the rich and the poor. The greater the degree of economic inequality in a society, the higher the murder rate, the lower the inequality, the lower the murder rate. For example, in the world today, the countries with the lowest rates of economic inequality, or, in other words, the highest rates of equality, are the countries of Western Europe, Japan and the other English speaking democracies – Canada, New Zealand, Australia. They have the lowest rates of inequality and they have murder rates that are, in most years, well in Western Europe and Japan are roughly one-tenth of ours. And the other English speaking democracies are about one-fifth of ours, 20% as high. In other words, the US murder rates are 5-10 times higher than that of any other economically developed country on earth. Now, one reason for that, the United States also by far the highest degree of economic inequality of any developed economy in the world. The two go together. In the third world countries, the so-called developing countries, although in many cases, these are what I would call un-developing countries or regressing countries, because many of them are actually becoming more poverty stricken rather than less. But in many of those countries, the rates of inequality are even higher than they are in the United States. I mean in many of the third world countries, the population is really divided between a tiny elite of super rich landowners and a huge population of semi-starving peasants. And they do have higher rates of violence than we do. I mean, the World Health Organization, with whom I have worked for many years, has done really path breaking, epidemiological research on this and has shown that the highest rates of violence of all are found in the third world countries. By the way, this applies to warfare as well as to homicide. It’s true with both interpersonal violence and collective political violence. So, achieving a greater level of equality is important. In fact, it’s essential. The US, I can’t emphasize it too strongly, has the highest rates of violence in the developed world today. It’s important for us, I think, to learn from that about what is not working in our society. As I said, I’m a doctor and I approach this as a problem in public health and preventive medicine.

Dr. James Gilligan – Punishment Does Not Prevent Violence

Prisons now are based on, among other things, but this is a major component, they’re based on the notion that somehow punishment is a good thing. The assumption here is that when somebody’s done something bad, the only way we can teach them not to keep doing that bad thing is to punish them and that will teach them. The fact is, we know that that is exactly the opposite of the truth. We have abundant evidence, many different lines of evidence showing that punishment does not inhibit or prevent violence. On the contrary, punishment is the most powerful stimulant of violence we’ve discovered yet. But I’m making a very important distinction here between punishment and restraint. As I’ve already said, I do believe that we need to restrain people who are dangerous to others by isolating them in a locked, secure facility. But not isolating them in another sense. Because we would want them to have full access to educational and therapeutic personnel who would come into the prison and, by the way, in my ideal therapeutic prison, I would of course invite the families and the wives and girlfriends to come in for conjugal visits, for family visits. I would try to give these men every possible chance to maintain familial ties as ling as they were behaving constructively toward the members of their families.

More From Dr. James Gilligan:

The Beginning of the End of Mass Imprisonment

California State Prisons Release 40,000 Prisoners: Why it’s a Good Thing

James Gilligan, M.D., is a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry in the School of Medicine, Adjunct Professor in the School of Law, and Collegiate Professor in the School of Arts and Science at New York University. He is a former president of the International Association for Forensic Psychotherapy. He is the author of Violence: Reflections on a National Epidemic, Preventing Violence: Prospects for Tomorrow, and the forthcoming Why Some Politicians Are More Dangerous Than Others. As a faculty member of the Harvard Medical School for many years, he headed the Institute of Law and Psychiatry, and directed mental health services for the Massachusetts prisons and prison mental hospital

Share

The following videos and transcripts are part of an exclusive interview series with Dr. Don Meichenbaum and Dr. Lisa Firestone. Dr. Meichenbaum is  a founder of Cognitive Behavioral Modification with special expertise in the treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In this interview with Dr. Lisa Firestone, Dr. Meichenbaum discusses the importance of both treatment and preventative treatment for individuals with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He also addresses applications for the treatment of violent individuals in clinical practice.

Violence Treatment – Built In Guidelines:

Clients to Collaborators:

Reducing The Recidivism Cycle:

Stress Inoculation

Stress Inoculation for the Military: 

Teaching Introspection and Coping Skills:

Donald Meichenbaum, Ph.D. is  a founder of Cognitive Behavioral Modification and has been voted one of the 10 most influential psychotherapists of the Century by North American clinicians in a survey reported in the American Psychologist.  Dr. Meichenbaum is Distinguished Professor Emeritus at the University of Waterloo, Ontario, Canada, and maintains a private practice as a clinical psychologist.

Share

Following Obama’s recent announcement that all U.S. Troops will be brought home from Iraq by the end of the year, one can’t help but wonder about the emotional trauma that will follow many of these soldiers home.

Studies show that between 11 to 20 percent of veterans from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars will be diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. People who suffer from PTSD, whether it be from wartime trauma, or natural disasters, are often thrown into an altered mental state that leaves them with overwhelming feelings of dread, lacking trust in the world around them and feeling an increased sense of isolation from their loved ones. PTSD can be a dark and difficult struggle, and many researchers blame PTSD for the rise in military suicide over the last five years. However, an optimistic, new approach to treating PTSD by building resilience and breaking the destructive thought patterns that keep traumatized individuals stuck may provide a beacon of hope for the thousands of soldiers who will return home this winter.

Donald Meichenbaum, Ph.D., who has written extensively about “Resilience Building” as a means to prevent and treat PTSD, defines resilience as the ability to “bounce back,” to “continue forward and maintain equilibrium in the face of chronic adversity.” Individuals possess varying degrees of resilience, which is why not everyone who experiences a traumatic event will develop PTSD. In fact, studies show that the maximum number of people to develop PTSD from a traumatic event does not rise over 30 percent regardless of the event’s severity. Individuals who experienced early childhood traumas or have less reliance are much more likely to develop PTSD.

When an individual develops PTSD, they tend to feel stuck and engage in behaviors that drag them deeper into depression rather than helping them actively fight against it. Traumatized individuals have a tendency to withdraw from the world in general and social activities in particular. However, this type of social isolation only increases the negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that accompany the condition. In fact, social support systems are a key component for anyone hoping to overcome Post-Traumatic Stress. When isolated the critical inner voice takes more control over the person’s life.

Individuals suffering from PTSD often engage in “Thinking Traps.” Meichenbaum describes how the “failure to believe anything positive could result from trauma experience” often lures individuals into an almost constant state of victimization. Engaging in “Why me” and “If only” thinking only furthers the emotional distance between traumatized people and others. Similarly, replaying events and brooding on one’s losses leaves many people with PTSD feeling stuck. These “Thinking Traps” are an example of what Dr. Robert Firestone would call the “critical inner voice.”

The critical inner voice is an inner-dialogue of thoughts that are destructive toward ourselves and others. These “voices” not only tell us things that damage our confidence and sense of self, they also feed us negative information about the world around us. All of us are plagued by this critical inner-voice, and when people suffer from PTSD they are not just suffering as a result of the traumatic event itself but they are also suffering from what they continually tell themselves about the event. For example, someone who experienced a sudden catastrophic event may experience thoughts like, “The world is just an unsafe place, you really can’t trust anyone,” which then keeps them from investing in the future. Even in dramatic cases where someone is left physically disfigured, the critical voices they have about their condition only serve to make them feel worse and keep them stuck in a negative mental spiral.

The old adage that “Time heals all wounds” is not accurate when it comes to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. On the contrary, suppressing trauma-related feelings can actually intensify the emotions, making them more overwhelming and scary. Whereas creating a coherent narrative about the event that originally caused the trauma can be a source of healing. By retelling one’s story with an emphasis on how they were able to get through the difficult situation, focusing on primary emotions without feeding the overwhelming feelings that followed, individuals can begin to demystify the source of their trauma and eventually make meaning out of the situation.

In doing therapy or talking with a loved who has experienced a trauma, it is helpful to re-conceptualize the problem in positive terms. Rather than focusing on the obvious negatives associated with the trauma it is important to emphasize that this person was able to get through the traumatic situation. This can be done by pointing out strengths in their lives and discussing specific times where they overcame adversity. By challenging the critical inner voice and reframing their experience in terms that give the traumatized person a sense of their personal power, they can begin to have confidence again in themselves and the world around them. In Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, a book I co-authored with Dr. Robert Firestone and Joyce Catlett, could be a first step in identifying and overcoming the critical inner voices that keep people stuck in a negative state of mind.

In order to fully recover from PTSD it is important for individuals to seek help and develop a sense of resilience. Breaking the patterns of self-destructive thoughts and behaviors can help people get unstuck. Similarly, taking care of one’s physical well-being by remaining active and not engaging in substance abuse is an important aspect of recovery. Making action-oriented plans and accomplishing tasks can help people get their confidence back to slowly reinvest in their future.

Although, it is not always easy, there is a life after PTSD. Developing resilience can truly break the internal cycle that leaves so many individuals chronically stuck in a traumatized state. My hope is that the 40,000 men and women who will be returning home from Iraq in the next few months will be greeted with these tools to combat the emotional wounds of battle.

Learn more about treating PTSD in an our CE webinar with Dr. Donald Meichenbaum and Dr. Lisa Firestone, Treatment of Individuals with PTSD, Complex PTSD and Comorbid Disorders: A Life-Span Approach.

Dr. Lisa Firestone, PhD, is the Director of Research and Education for The Glendon Association. Since 1987, she has been involved in clinical training and applied research in suicide and violence. In collaboration with Dr. Robert Firestone, her studies resulted in the development of the Firestone Assessment of Self-Destructive Thoughts (FAST) and the Firestone Assessment of Violent Thoughts (FAVT). Dr. Firestone has published numerous professional articles, and most recently was the co-author of the books: Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships (APA Books, 2006),Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice(New Harbinger, 2002), and Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: The Wisdom of Psychotherapy (APA Books, 2003).

Share

For a long time we’ve speculated the falling economy could mean a rise in the suicide rate, and now, new research has given us some indication. In April, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a release stating the overall suicide rate rises and falls in connection with the economy. This conclusion was drawn from a U.S. study looking at suicide rates from 1928-2007.

In August, another report released by the CDC showed that in 2008, 13.4 percent of people who committed suicide had experienced job and financial problems. This marks about a 2 percent increase in these figures from previous years, leading the CDC to recommend increasing counseling, job placement and financial services that can help reduce the mental distress that can heighten suicide risk. We live in a world where more people die by suicide than from all homicides and wars combined. And with today’s uncertain economic climate, there has never been a more crucial time to learn what we can do to prevent this crisis and help save a life.

A common misconception about suicide is the belief that a suicidal person wants to die, and that they cannot be helped. This is far from being the case. The suicidal state is almost always short-lived and treatable. When someone decides to end their life, they are acting out the will of an internal enemy or “anti-self.” A suicidal individual is divided between their true self that is on their side and wants to live and an anti-self which attempts to destroy them. By understanding this division, suicidal individuals can begin to challenge the distorted filter through which they view the world when in a suicidal state.

Emerging from a suicidal state involves reconnecting with and strengthening one’s real self and rediscovering the natural desire to survive. For many people who have attempted suicide, this reconnection took place the minute they make a serious attempt to end their lives. Tragically for many, this realization that they do not want to die has come just a few seconds too late. This is why it is necessary for us to intervene as soon as possible when we feel concerned that someone is falling into hard times and may be suicidal.

With so many individuals suffering losses of jobs, homes or retirement security, the potential for the anti-self to gain strength is increased. The most common mental health outcome of these difficult conditions is depression, which increases suicide risk. A recent study of 26 European Union countries showed that for every 1 percent rise in unemployment, there was a .79 percent increase in suicides among individuals younger than 65 years old. This same report showed that a 3 percent or greater rise in unemployment was associated with a 4.45 percent rise in suicide.

In the U.S., a study by economist Christopher J. Ruhm similarly showed that for every 1 percent increase in a state’s unemployment rate, the number of suicides increases by 1.3 percent. Other research tracking suicide rates from 1960 to 1995 has demonstrated that each $1.00 cut in state per capita public welfare expenditures was associated with an increase of .004 per 100,000 population in state suicide rates.

Though data as current and comprehensive as that offered by the EU study has yet to be reported in the U.S., the CDC has suggested that “Job loss can trigger a cascade of negative events, such as more financial problems and relationship problems, which can increase risk for suicide.” These stressors and losses can trigger feelings of shame, humiliation or despair, which may lead to suicide attempts in vulnerable individuals or those with limited support and resources. However, the situation is far from hopeless. Like depression, suicidality is almost always both preventable and treatable. Yet, in order to prevent it, we must be willing to intervene. Something as small as a smile from a stranger or a friend showing that they care has been known to save someone from suicide. However, when we avoid the subject of suicide we fail to learn to recognize the warning signs and learn the helper tasks that can save a life.

By educating ourselves in the dos and don’ts of suicide prevention, we equip ourselves with the tools to help someone we may encounter who is in need, be it a co-worker, friend, relative, neighbor or acquaintance. The most important “don’t” is never ignore someone you’re worried may be suicidal. Never assume they are just joking or seeking attention or aren’t serious about making a suicide attempt. By heightening our understanding of how we can prevent suicide and sharing this knowledge with those around us, we are taking the first steps to show we truly care.

Warning Signs for Suicide

1. Extreme self-hatred — “You don’t deserve to live.”
2. Personalized hopelessness — “Nothing matters anymore. You should just kill yourself.”
3. Pushing away friends and family — “What’s wrong with you? Look at all this trouble you’re causing the people who love you.”
4. Isolation — “Just be by yourself. You are better off alone.”
5. Thoughts of not belonging — “You don’t fit in anywhere.”
6. Thoughts of being a burden to others — “You’re just dragging everyone down. You are such a burden; they would be better off without you.”

The following are common behaviors that indicate suicide risk:

1. Past attempts
2. Disrupted sleep patterns
3. Increased anxiety and agitation
4. Outbursts of rage or low frustration tolerance
5. Risk-taking behavior
6. Increased alcohol or drug use
7. Sudden mood change for the better
8. Any talk or indication of suicidal ideation or intent, planning or actual actions taken to procure a means

Learn more here

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a free hotline available 24 hours a day to anyone in emotional distress or suicidal crisis.

Dr. Lisa Firestone, PhD, is the Director of Research and Education for The Glendon Association. Since 1987, she has been involved in clinical training and applied research in suicide and violence. In collaboration with Dr. Robert Firestone, her studies resulted in the development of the Firestone Assessment of Self-Destructive Thoughts (FAST) and the Firestone Assessment of Violent Thoughts (FAVT). Dr. Firestone has published numerous professional articles, and most recently was the co-author of the books: Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships (APA Books, 2006),Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice(New Harbinger, 2002), and Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: The Wisdom of Psychotherapy (APA Books, 2003).

Share